Fall Break
by imWithThewolVes1622
Summary: I could never figure out why he had picked me out everyone, but he did and I was happy with him but I wanted the truth and I wanted freedom theres was something else I wanted that I couldnt name either...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, people im not going to ask for reviews, you don't have to comment on whether or not you like it. i won't go into a total melt down if you don't and keep the next chapter hostage. I write because I like it, not for reviews, but all i ask is that if you see a grammatical error (especially those cursed commas!!) or you think that I could've worded something better, or you have an idea, don't hesistate to tell me. I'm really trying to make my writing better, and those things help. not the "omg amazing update please." Or the "Do humanity a favor and kill yourself and never write again." Sorry, but I like life. anyway enjoy, and keep a sharp eye out for errors. Red Pens Ready, Set, Go! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing bla bla bla Stephenie Meyer bla bla bla damn my mind for nothing more witty bla bla bla and so forth bla bla bla **

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All my life, I remember being mocked by painfully beautiful people. It's never easy to be reminded that you are less than perfect by others. It may sound like some overdramatic complaint made by a young girl, but actually is a very true account that is experienced by the entire human race. I lived in the age where humans were no longer the dominant race, well I guess we never were, but now it was truly known to us. This was no longer the age of humans, far from it actually. This was the age of vampires.

No one remembers the time when vampires were a secret, except the vampires of course. It was a long time ago, and that's all we can tell you. We couldn't tell you how long ago it was, for they have done away with time; it's irrelevant to them now, since they have an unlimited amount. Time was just one of the many things done away with, along with literature, art, communication devices that wasn't directly directed to your liege, free speech, expression of self, curfews were now assigned, and many more restrictions and codes passed to keep the human race in line. Not that it was a big deal even if we did organize a group to stand against them. A handful could obliterate us in seconds; it was just something to keep us disciplined and well mannered.

Well, no one remembers exactly when vampires took over, but we all know who did. It was something we were educated in frequently, History of Vampires and Their Accomplishments and Achievements. It all started by one of 'them', by the name of Seamus, who had grown tired of his nonexistent life, and emerged into the public eye. If his flawless features and angelic face hadn't won the humans, then his hypnotic voice would have; he had the entire world in his trance from his music.

Normally, an elite group of elder vampires that usually regulated vampire activity would have stopped him, but then started to like the idea of utter power. Once he had the Volturi's approval, all the vampires came forward to showcase their beauty and talent. Since that time, we have served as their food supply, slaves, and puppets for their enjoyment and pleasure.

They have always liked to remind us that we are less than them. They are the gods and we the lowly mortals that serve, shadows and ghosts of what they were, of what we could be. I have learned to hate them. The power that their beauty and abilities had over me, the way I would stare at them in a daze, and turn into mush whenever they would turn to look at me for a brief moment and then dismiss me like dirt on their shoes.

Some have resisted, but all attempts have been fruitless, and have all disappeared in the end and never heard of again. So everyone, including myself, has learned that it is best to go along with their demands and hope that one will show favor upon you and turn you.

I have been lucky enough, or so I've been told, that one has shown some favor on me and I have high chances of being turned into one of them. I know I should be glad, at least grateful, to have such luck, but I can find none. I can't see the joy in being turned into something I have hated for so long. I've been "adopted" by a famous vampire, even by vampire standards. He is a literary genius and a world known artists who's pieces hangs with the greats. He is an unusual creature, remaining in seclusion for a good part of his existence, and known for his unpredictable and aggressive behavior and his solemn moods, at least that was what I knew of him before I had met him.

I don't know why he has chosen me, but I do remember the day I met him. I was at the museum studying the works of art there, and some that were his. I was one of the only humans because it looked down upon for a human to try and grasp any form of the arts, we only abused it. Our minds are too young and feeble to develop any type of understanding, and it wasn't like we had the talent for it. But I had braved their icy glares for I had a passion for the arts, and pass the threshold to appreciate the small treasures kept there.

Inspired by all that surrounded me, all the beauty and ideas hanging on the walls, I pulled out my journal and scribbled all of my feelings and thoughts on paper. I tried to remain inconspicuous in the corner, hiding my writing to the best of my ability. If appreciating the arts is looked down upon, you can only imagine what trying to create your own was depicted as. My words and notebook had been ridiculed many times by my friends and family. They tell me how idiotic it is to waste my time writing, when it could never compare to the vampires. But the small passion, that flame that burned for the written word would not be smothered by neither myself or others. It was the one escape I had from this hell, and I wouldn't give it up. Besides, many others have faced more difficult obstacles than myself. Socrates, Aristotle, John Locke, Anne Frank, they all did what they had to do, and worked for their writings no matter who stood in their way. I couldn't let their sneers stop me.

A sweet smell beyond description filled my senses, and I knew that scent all too well. I tried to put my journal away, but found it was already out of my hands and in those of the beautiful stranger next to me.

He had pitched black hair that contrasted to alabaster skin that was a characteristic of his kind. His perfect features and statuesque body could have easily hidden him among the chiseled masterpieces here. His red rimmed eyes looked up from the pages and I felt my heart beat quicken and the heat start to rise into my face; I had to calm myself or end up as his afternoon snack. We were taught to try and control our blood pumping, so as not to invoke their thirst. He smiled at me, and their goes my last bit of control, and natural brain functions. I kept trying to remind myself to breathe, and slowly back out of the room. He closed my journal and handed it back to me already finished with the entire book in seconds. I stuffed it in my shoulder bag, fumbling with the straps and snaps.

"You're a writer." He simply stated. I nodded my head like an idiot and turned on my heel to try and rush out of there. Unfortunately, I had backed myself into a wall subconsciously, when I thought I was backing out toward the door. My head went right into the wall, and the sound echoed across the hall. I stood back dazed for a moment before trying to recover and make my way dizzily out of there. I could only hear their thoughts 'look at the drunk walking zig zags to the door.' I could feel glares being burned into my back by the others there that hated the clumsiness of humans. I redirected to the doorway, but noticed that he was leaning against the door frame blocking my escape.

I felt my heart beat in my chest, and combined with my head already spinning I had to concentrate to try and think.

Oh God, he was going to eat me. Had the time come already?

I looked into his red rimmed eyes. So, soon?

A coy smile spread across his face, highlighting his features, and making him into the angel of death. I guess death is better than living here in this world overran by demons.

I closed my eyes and braced myself to enter the world unknown. I sent my last pleas and apologies to my maker. Please, let him be quick.

I sat anxiously waiting for what seemed like eternity, and then I heard a deep, husky chuckle. I peeked out from under my eyelashes to see him looking at me like I was child that didn't quite understand a simple problem. His smiled became bigger, and I hated how even in the face of death, their looks could still have affects on me.

"You have no need to fear me," he said in a sweet, soothing voice that felt like cool, refreshing water trickling over my parched body. I still stood tense, not quite trusting him, he hadn't gained my trusts, neither had his kind.

"What's your name?" He asked circling me now like a lion stalking his prey, sizing me up to see the fruits he would soon be enjoying.

My name? What did it matter now? Can't he just kill the pesky human? Did he really have to be acquainted with me, before he killed me? Maybe he just had a sick sense of humor?

"Joni Fawla," I barely whispered avoiding eye contact.

"No, not that one. Your real name. The one you sign your journal with."

I had been hoping he might miss that, but their all too observant eyes missed nothing. I blushed, knowing the real reason behind my using the pen name. I'd rather he feed off me and get it over with.

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to avoid the question. I didn't want to tell him that I felt like when I was writing that I wasn't Joni anymore, I was someone else. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes that now smoldered at me, and I felt my resolve fall away, and my train of thought had gone missing.

"You were saying?" He prompted.

"Charla A. Poynter." I said without my consent. I could feel my alias, the mask I hid behind fall away, leaving me revealed for all the world to see.

"Hmm...interesting. May I ask the logic behind it?" I couldn't tell if he was being sincere or sarcastic, but I went on anyway. If my alter ego was going to suffer, then I would suffer with it.

"I chose A. Poynter because I feel I have a point to prove, something I want to show everyone. And anything that points to something is a pointer. I'm A. Poynter." I pushed out in one big breath. He nodded his head, and then looked at me shaking in mirth. I balled up my fist feeling the years of oppression and ridicule building up. I didn't care that I didn't stand any chance. I would go down fighting, and I wouldn't allow him to sit here and make fun of me and my writings.

He laughed more when he saw my small fists, and I prepared myself to pounce on him, when he held up his hands.

"Peace. I didn't mean to offend you. If anything, I respect your fight and your unique and interesting thoughts. You don't see a lot of the talent you have anymore, especially in humans, not that vampires are much better."

I felt my mouth drop. I was taken back that a vampire was actually putting down his own race, and praising my work, the work of a human. He went on to explain himself when he saw my puzzled look.

"Yes, I agree with a lot of your writing. Vampires are arrogant and the years of them being on this earth has made them even more so, and for them to go on and on about their supremacy, they can hardly produce a thought provoking work of art, except that of Demetrius and a few others, if I may be so bold as to quote you." He asked me like a real gentleman. I was dumfounded and at a lost for words.

He moved closer to me, studying my face, as I stood there subconsciously feeling his eyes roam my expressions.

"You are quite unusual, Charla. There aren't many like you." He finally said, his eyes burning into mine. I felt my breathing hitch, and I tried to control it, he had used my pen name, no one else did that.

"Do you have a liege, yet?"

I shook my head; I was too young to pledge myself to a vampire in hopes that they would turn me. He smiled, seeming pleased.

"My name is Demetrius, and if you don't mind, I would like to get to know you better." I felt my mouth drop and my eyes go huge. Demetrius. The literary and art genius that I would love to study, when I could sneak some of his works. This couldn't be happening; this was a joke.

I looked over to one of his paintings and at the small panel underneath that had information about the picture and artist. Sure enough, there was his picture staring back at me knowingly that I had doubted him. I looked back at the real thing and saw that same knowing look.

"Tell your guardians that you will stay with me, and I will be your liege now. I will pick you up in the morning." And then he turned and walked out. I just stood there trying to soak in what had just happened.

That was the beginning of a new life for me. I went back to the home that cared for teenagers that were about to embark on trying to gain favors. In that time period, children didn't live with parents at a certain age, and were sent off to something like a bordering school that taught you how to be a good servant. You did get to see your parents sometimes, but they were mainly too busy working or something.

I had packed my things, said my goodbyes, and a shiny automobile came around to take me to my new home, and that was the end of that. I was never close to anyone there, usually in my small corner writing.

I was so nervous coming to his home. It was a big gothic, stone building that looked to big for one to own, but then again vampires had lavish taste and had enough money to satisfy it. The instant I walked through the door, I felt overwhelm by the high ceilings and expensive things that flooded the room, pushing down on me. But seeing my distress and trying to make me feel at home, Demetrius steered me to his personal library that I immediately took to. I had never seen such a collection, and all of it could be to my use. He had also gotten me my own room and writing corner. He has always tried to accommodate me.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dinner for the human." Demetrius handed me my plate with a playful smile. I smiled back at him, and went to work on my five-star dinner he had the cook prepare. He had hired a cook and a maid staff to take care of me. I don't know how long I had been staying with Demetrius, timed no longer mattered.

"And what of your dinner?" I asked twirling my fork to swirl the noodles into a neat little spindle to shove into my mouth.

"Why do you think I'm fattening you up?" He laughed, chucking me under my chin gently. I laughed and went back to my dinner.

He tilted his head to the side studying me. He often did this, and then would disappear to his room, and in his own words "try to capture me on canvas or paper." According to him, he had yet to accomplish it, yet, even though he has made stunning pictures and beautiful stories that brought tears to the eyes.

"That's it!" he exclaimed and in a blink of an eye, he came around and kissed the top of my head, and was upstairs in his room, creating the newest inspiration he had discovered in me. I shook my head and went back to finish my dinner.

He came back down when I was washing my plate in the dinner, and he came behind me and put a cold arm around my waist. I shivered from the cold, and he moved a little away. I got cold very easily.

I turned around and twined my arms around his neck, feeling a little bad for making him move away, and I liked him to be close.

"How did it turn out?" directing the question to the project he had started upstairs.

"Disastrous." He growled upset about another failure.

I rolled my eyes," Another masterpiece."

"You think too much of me."

"No, you don't think enough of yourself. You're too much of a perfectionists." I said flicking him on the nose, hurting my finger a little for hitting it on such a hard surface.

He rolled his eyes this time, and went to pick up my journal left on the counter. I always liked to keep it around me in case inspiration hit. He leafed through it, but I couldn't care; I had learned not to be subconscious when he read it. He always commented on something; helping me become better, or praising something. He had become my greatest critique, and my best friend.

"Anything new?" he asked even though he had already seen the latest of my musings.

I shrugged," Not really. I have something going, but I just can't get it right…"

"You're still on about that dream of yours." He said it as a statement because it was true; I have been having a dream for the past few nights that had me waking up in the middle of the night. It was so strange and unusual, but it was all I could think about it lately. It was starting to worry Demetrius.

I sighed," yes. I'm going to get it. I'm determined now." I felt my lips push out in a little pout; something I always did when I set my mind to something.

"My determined little Charla." He laughed setting down my journal, and coming back to my side, to take the plate out of my hands and putting it up. He always called me Charla, never Joni.

"I wish you weren't going away this weekend." I was already sad about him leaving. He was going to a museum opening, and going to feed while he was away, since he didn't like to do it around me. He also had to leave me behind because humans weren't supposed to travel long distances, and he was going far away. He wouldn't be back for days.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." He promised reflecting the sadness back in my eyes. He would be leaving tonight, in a few hours.

"Don't worry about me, I'll find something to occupy my time," I said trying to make him feel better, knowing that I had nothing better to do but write. We had learned that we were dependent on each other since the day we met. I hadn't slept a wink that night I had first talked to him, and well of course he didn't sleep, but he said he had thought of me. Since then, we have been each others muse, friend, and soul mate. He was going to wait a little longer for me to grow older and then I would be turned and we would be together for eternity. I was very nervous about the transformation and how permanent it would be. Honestly, I loved him, but didn't know how I felt about being turned into a vampire.

I pushed the thoughts away, and prepared myself for a very long weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

I stayed awake to see him off. The transportation came around and he kissed me lightly goodbye, before he quickly pulled away, and left. He was gone and I could feel the loneliness pushing down on me.

I spent the first day, trying to write after the dream reoccurred that night, but I mainly sat there tapping my pen on a blank page that represented my mind at the moment. I could feel it, almost see it, but I just couldn't grasp it, frustrated I just wrote down some nonsense again.

So the next day I just wandered around the house, reexamining all the rooms. I went to the library and brushed my hands along the many spines of the books. I had read most of what was in here. Demetrius said that it was a good idea for me to get some understanding of others writings and draw from some of those to put into my own.

A pang went through my system from missing him. I wanted him here. I could feel him all around, but it was like he was hiding and I couldn't find him. His scent and personal things all mocked and reminded me that he wasn't here. I grabbed my jacket and took off out the front door, trying to get away from it all.

I ended up following the path into the woods that surrounded the house. He lived in a very secluded area that was surrounded by tree and forests for miles around. He liked his privacy and so did I. We had come here a few times, strolling hand and hand, just talking and enjoying each others company.

I breathed in the fresh air reveling in the freedom the outdoors gave me. I forgot how much I liked being outside during the day. Demetrius said he still felt uncomfortable out in the sun, he had lived during the time when vampires were a secret, and still like the privacy he use to have. Though, I did try to draw him out here a few times because I loved how his skin shone out here.

I spent most of the day outside wandering along the path, going farther and farther into the forests, until the path just stopped. I decided to push forward, not wanting to go back to the lonely house just yet, and I still had some daylight left.

I wandered along trying to keep a straight path and remember markers, enjoying the scenery. I marveled at the colors the trees were turning, and losing their leaves, carpeting the ground with a crunchy collage of reds and browns. The cool crispness of the air made me think that this had to be fall. I've seen at least three falls since I've been here, starting to think to myself. I had come here during fall, I think. So that means it must have been three years since I've been here. I always tried to figure out how old I was, but it was hard once you reach the childhood era, and realized you can remember nothing further. Though, timed didn't matter to vampires anymore, it still mattered to me. I wanted to know how long I've been here, what' I've been doing during all that time.

"A penny for your thoughts." A deep, husky voice said from behind a tree. I screamed and jumped back, my heart beating out of my chest. A tall, tan stranger gracefully came out from behind the trees, his white teeth standing out against his beautiful dark skin. He was shirtless, and had nothing on but cut offs despite the chilly air. He had masculine, rugged features that blended in with the forests making him apart of it. It took me awhile to get over the fact that he wasn't a vampire, but still look… well, beautiful. He was different than the refined looks of those I had seen all my life. He had an air around him that made you feel he was reckless, confidant…dangerous almost.

His dark, warm eyes bore into mine, and I felt a heat radiate through me, and for once I wasn't cold or shivering. Something connected when our eyes met, and I could almost here a click.

I sat back, trying to control my heart rate, staring at this stranger that had come from nowhere. He came closer to me, but I didn't back away; something about him made me feel safe.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said looking completely concerned that he had upset me.

"It's okay I should have paid more attention to my surroundings. You just sneaked up on me that's all," I said trying to make him feel better, he really didn't do anything wrong.

He came closer and then his nostrils flared, and his face took on a disgusted look. I became distressed. Did I smell?

"What?" I asked sniffing my clothes self consciously.

"You live with a vampire, don't you?" He accused me. I looked at him confused.

"Yeah, my liege. What's wrong with that?" I asked defensively; he made it seem like it was a bad thing.

"Nothing, it's just I can smell it off of you that's all."

He puzzled me even more. What would me smelling like Demetrius be bad? I thought that would've been a complement; he smelled amazing. I shrugged and started to walk away. He followed me soundlessly and easily moving through the forests, while I was concentrating on not spraining my ankle and falling on my face.

"What's your name?" He asked after a while of following me in silence. I couldn't shake him, and a part of me didn't want to. A small part of me wanted to turn to him and wrap myself into his arms and disappear into the forest with him, but I restrained myself.

"Charla." I looked over and saw his face in deep thought and then a look of amusement came into his eyes when he looked back at me.

"What now?" I asked feeling self conscious again from his stare.

"That's not your real name." He simply stated, his eyes burning into mine, daring me to contradict him."

I took the bait," How do you know?" I turned on him, my eyes turning into slits.

He shrugged his massive shoulders," It's just not."

"Well, Sherlock Holmes, your right." I said walking away from him.

He was in front of me suddenly, smiling down from the huge height he had over me," What's your real name then?"

I looked behind me where I had left him, and then walked around him. He laughed," Are you mad? Don't worry I like this game."

His laugh made me smile instantly, and I couldn't keep up the charade anymore. I turned around, giggling at him," You really want to know my name?"

He nodded his head and I danced around him, still laughing like a tiny pixie having some fun with him. I liked this game, too. I haven't felt like this in a long time, well ever actually.

"Yes," he reached out and grabbed my arm pulling me towards him. I could feel his touch burning through my jacket, and the heat coming off his chest. I felt my breathing becoming shallow, as I realized how close I was to him.

"Joni," I choked out. He smiled down at me, and I felt myself smiling too, unable to resist. The heat, him, it was all irresistible.

"See not so hard?" he teased.

I pulled away, and started walking again. I could feel the sun starting to go down, and I needed to get home before curfew, but I couldn't find the words to tell him I had to go.

So, I just kept up with the introductions," What's your name?"

He was beside me again, and I had to wonder how he did that, if he wasn't a vampire.

"I don't know if I should tell you, or do what you did to me." He joked.

I shrugged," I'm not as eager as you."

His face fell, and I felt guilty," I was being sarcastic." I quickly added, and his face brightened a little.

"Jacob." He said.

"That's not your name." I said, imitating his deep voice. We both laughed, when he suddenly stood up straight and looked back behind him like someone was calling him.

"I have to go," a look of worry crossing over his features. I felt disappointed that he had to leave. He had brightened up my entire weekend.

"Aww, don't look so sad? I'll see you around," He joked when he saw my face, and I wondered how he would manage that. Wouldn't his liege be worried about him? Is that why he was taking off so fast now, his liege was calling? I tried to straighten up, embarrassed that I would miss him, even though I had just met him.

He was turning to leave, when I realized I didn't know my way back.

"Wait," I called out to him.

He turned around amused," I haven't even left yet."

" I don't know my way back." I stated ignoring his comment.

"Isn't that your house?" He asked pointing to something in the distance. I turned around and saw through the fringe of the trees my house glowing in the clearing. I guess we had made our way back here without my realizing.

He laughed," It was nice meeting you, Joni."

I turned around to thank him, but he was already gone," Pleased to make your acquaintance, Jacob." I said to the air, as I made my way back to the house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, hello.  
****I'm sick which is why I was able to start a story and put up 4 chapters lol. I'm suppose to be on bed rest, but I sneaked my way back to the computer because I had to get some of my ideas out. So, anyway next chapter already. Yay! please don't tell my mom I'm up. I want to get better to go to the museum tomorrow, so I have to pull some 007 moves and make it back to my room. so shh!! **

**Disclaimer: twilight + characters equals Stephenie Meyers  
in which anthing of Stephenie Meyer's equals NOT MINE. **

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I woke up with a start. The dream had come back and I could remember every detail. I held myself, trying to control the shivers that were pulsating through my body. I reached for my journal ready to write, but then paused. How could I write what I had seen, and then have Demetrius read it? 

I couldn't, and I set down my journal on the table, and closed my eyes. I saw it all over again, everything replaying through my mind. I was with Jacob again, and it was just like before, being with him just felt so right, so elating. It was like walking amongst the clouds, your fingertips reaching up and brushing heaven ever so slightly. And I realized all along he had been the one starring in my dreams that I couldn't see when I woke up, I had known him before, and he had visited me many nights before I had actually met him.

But Demetrius…

That was the main thing bringing me down. I couldn't enjoy the moment completely because I felt like I was betraying him by having thoughts of Jacob. Demetrius was the one, we were so right for each other. But it wasn't like earlier today; there wasn't that click that I felt, I have never felt so free to be who I was and laugh everything off. I felt myself pulling away from Demetrius; the dependency that I felt he had on me was no more. I could feel that it was gone.

I push the covers off of me letting the cold air hit me. I couldn't lie here anymore; I had to do something. Usually, I would write, but anything I wrote Demetrius would see, and this was something I rather he not know about.

I had to figure out something because it felt like the thoughts flying around in my head and were going to beat my brain to bits. I pulled on a sweater so as not to freeze, and started walking around the house. The maids and cook slept in the west wing that was almost disconnected to the house, so while Demetrius was away I was left alone.

I sighed frustrated with myself. I had been with Demetrius for at least three seasons, according to my calculations, and I was willing to throw that away for one day, one walk, one conversation with some guy in the woods. I didn't even know if I would ever see him again. I didn't know where he came from or who he was; all I had was a name.

I needed to pull myself together. Demetrius was coming home later on that day, and I wanted his homecoming to be great, even though he had only been away for a few days, he needed to know I missed him.

I went to the kitchen to fix myself a snack, planning on something I could do for Demetrius. I opened the cabinets and made a face at all that was in there. I missed the sugary, greasy foods of my childhood; at least they had a good taste. A while back, they passed a new decree and decided that since humans couldn't make healthy choices about what they put in their mouths and were having all these problems with obesity and diabetes, they banned all food that couldn't pass the health standards set by them. Everything now was bland and tasteless, and had the right amount of calories and vitamins sufficient for a day. We also had to keep a log, and there were sensors put on the labels and tabs to check on how much we were eating to stop eating disorders.

I sighed and grabbed a fruit off the counter, hearing a small beeping sound to make a note that I had grabbed an orange. Luckily, fruit had barely passed the food banishment in fear that they had too many natural sugars, but since they were natural and we needed fruits for a healthy diet, they kept them, but to a limited amount. They were now the only candy we could enjoy.

I sat down and started to peel the covering off, and sticking the sweet wedges into my mouth. I closed my eyes savoring the tangy juice. I finished it off, and wiped off my hands wondering what to do next. I know I couldn't go back to sleep, but it looked that it was late at night or early morning still. Dawn hadn't even come yet.

I wondered upstairs to Demetrius' private study where he created most of his art and literary works. I looked around to see everything neatly in its corner. His writing desk in its own corner, papers strewn across the top, and his easel and paints in the other corner by the window and canvases surrounding it. I went over to his desk and picked up a paper to read the top of it. It was hard to make out with all the cross outs and scribbles.

The lights hits her illuminating her face.

That small devilish smile plays on her lips. She stares out into another world of her own thoughts somewhere I can't join her.

I laughed at his frustrated cross outs; he could be such a perfectionist. I walked over to the next area and leafed through the canvases. Some were started but unfinished, some finished but carelessly thrown to the side turning out to be a disappointment to the artist, and some were absolutely beautiful. The subject was mostly me. I was either thrown into a bunch of light, or dark shadows, a detailed background or a simple one, laughing or crying, but a lot of them were of me thinking and bending over my journal writing. I couldn't believe it was me, and he had said that he couldn't paint me. I'd like to see he meant when he really painted if this was a disaster.

I put the pictures down, and went to the window and drew the curtains back to reveal the night. The stars splashed the sky accompanying the moon in a night waltz. The moonlight danced into the room and on the lawn, so I could just make out the forest in the distance.

Had Jacob made it home? Would I ever see him again? Was he even thinking of me right now? I sighed and pushed my forehead against the window, feeling its icy chill creep through me. I shivered, but ignored it. I let my hot breath fog the window and made small patterns with my finger.

Then I saw it. Something had moved by the forest. I knew what my chances were of it being him, but at least there was a chance. Hadn't I just thought that I might never see him again? But wasn't I going to forget about him? I stood there indecisive on whether to stay or go. I saw the shadow move again, and I rushed to my room to throw some more clothes on that were thicker than my pj's.


	5. Chapter 5

**Most disappointing news. I didn't get to go to the museum today. WAH! leg didn't get better, if anything things spread, so I had to stay home again today if I wanted to play tomorrow (Round Robin for Softball WOOHOO!!! 6 GAMES!!) so my team really needs me cus we just got enough players and I really really i mean really want to play so sacrafices had to be made, and I can go to the museum another day. so that meant another day at home and I about beat my head in with a spoon I was so bored but decided to write some more, and listen to my music which made me feel better. I mean Steve Miller Band and The Beatles always get me in a better mood, though I had to ignore the urge to dance. but anywhoo WHO CARES!!! go start reading and be on the look out for those damn commas that never seem to be in the right place. **

**Diclaimer: i'm working on trying to get some hacking skills to steal Stephenie's genius work, but sadly i have none, in which twilight and all characters and other books belong to her.  
but I am working on a letter to convince her to just let me get a peek at the next book. I even put a picture of me doing my puppy dog face, though she would probably only throw it away. I tried, right? **

* * *

'This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I couldn't passed it up', I kept on saying to myself to ease my conscious that refused to let me forget that Demetrius was coming home in a few hours. I ran to my room shoving layers of clothes on and shoes and raced out the door onto the lawn. The moonlight was bright enough to make my way out on the lawn, but I saw how forbidding and dark the forest looked and wished I had thought of some kind of light. 

I entered the forests and looked around. I didn't see anything or hear anything, but hadn't Jacob been really good at maneuvering through the forest. I walked farther in whispering his name.

"Just couldn't stay away," a deep voice whispered into my ear, his hot breath tickling my neck.

"I could say the same thing about you," I said after getting my breathing under control. I turned around and he was in the same thing he was before, just cut offs and nothing else. I became very aware about how close we were and backed away a little, but I missed the heat that seemed to be coming off his body.

His one eyebrow hitched up and he looked at me quizzically.

I laughed," You were the one stalking around my house. I came out here to investigate." I said very diplomatically.

"Which is why you were whispering my name? I'm the number one suspect?" he looked at me amused.

We looked at each other and laughed for we had both been caught.

He grabbed my hand and started pulling me into the forest, my hand instantly felt like I put it into an oven, and the heat started moving up my arm. "Come on, I want to show you something."

I hesitated looking over my shoulder at the house. Demetrius wasn't supposed to be home for hours, but it was way past curfew. If we were found I could only imagine the consequences we would both get. Probably the next trip to a very hungry new born. I shuddered at the idea.

"Come on, I won't let anything happen to you," he smiled at me and I felt a little better," Besides, I'll bring you right back to your jailor, so he won't worry." I dropped his hand instantly and stepped away. He didn't even know Demetrius; he had no right to talk about him. And the mention of him, made me feel guilty for being out here; I should have stayed inside.

"I didn't mean to offend you; I forgot how protective you are of your leeches."

"That wasn't much of an apology." I glared at him; he was only making my temper worse.

He looked at me and gave me big puppy dog eyes that made me melt," I'm really sorry for saying that." He pushed out his bottom lip, and my anger faded as I gave him a playful shove.

"All right, what did you want to show me?"

A big smile lit up his face, and I felt myself brighten up as well. He took my hand and led me deeper into the forest.

I trudged my way along envious of how silent Jacob moved while I sounded like a band of kids that got a hold of some instruments and making a ruckus.

"So do you live around here?" I asked him curious to see what he was doing so far out here. Maybe his liege had bought a plot of land near by, and let Jacob wander around. I smiled because that would mean seeing him around a lot more.

He shrugged," For the mean time." I felt disappointed and prompted him further.

"What's that suppose to mean? Do you and your liege move around a lot?"

"I don't have one." He stated amused by the question.

"You don't have one?" I asked baffled, he was old enough to pledge himself, I knew that for sure, and he was too young to be dismissed by one. Did he lose favor or something?

"That's what I said. I don't have one and I've never did." He turned to look me in the eyes, and I knew he wasn't lying. A million questions ran through my head. But it all came down to one answer. Only people in the resistance didn't have lieges or never had one. Even the most disagreeable, horrible people were chosen for a few years before they were either killed or dismissed.

"So…you're… a, one?" I stuttered. He only nodded his head in agreement, watching my expression.

Ever, since I had been young, I had been interested by the resistance, but taught that it was no use. We didn't stand a chance, and being caught with one of them could have serious consequences, but I found my curiosity was outweighing my common sense. I wanted to be reckless for once, I mean really reckless. I've sneaked literature and a few trips to places I shouldn't be, but this was something totally different. And I always wanted to meet someone from the resistance.

"So, you're staying out here for a while?" I asked trying to act like I wasn't scared about being caught with him. The truth was I didn't care what he was, I just wasn't ready to say goodbye to him yet.

"Maybe. We move around a lot, always trying to stay a step ahead." He started walking again, seeming pleased with something, while I tried to keep up with his long strides.

"How long have you been apart of it?"

"Since the beginning, and maybe even before that."

"So you're parents were apart of it, and you were just born into it?" I asked trying to understand his answers.

"Hardly. My parents weren't alive long enough to see the world come to this. Thank God." He growled. That couldn't be possible that would mean he would be as old as… well just very old, and he still looked young.

"How old are you?" I looked at him skeptically, making sure he wasn't playing a joke on me.

"Well, it's hard to remember, since they don't keep track of the years anymore, but I guess I would say 120, 125 between those two." I felt my mouth drop and then my anger surface.

"You're not very funny." I glared at him. How stupid did I look?

"I'm not joking." He turned to me with a serious look on his face.

"Ha. I bet." He was a pretty good actor if he could keep this up without cracking a smile.

"How much?" he looked at me calling my shot.

"A life time of servitude." I offered, and he looked at me like I had hit a tender spot.

"I'll take that bet and match it. Werewolves need all the help they can get."

I felt myself stop dead in my tracks.

"Don't joke about those things." I whispered to him. Werewolves were almost a taboo topic. The vampires hated having them mentioned, and would only say that they were extinct and gone for good, with an addition of 'mangy mongrels' at the end of that.

"Do I have a jester's hat on? You keep on thinking I'm telling jokes."

"Werewolves are extinct." I recited after my teachers after the many times we would ask them about werewolves, and they would simply say that line, cutting off any further discussion.

He patted his chest, and all the way down his legs and back up, his eyes taking on a mock look of astonishment. "Doesn't look like I'm extinct. Still all here." He smiled big looking down at me.

"Ha. Ha. If this is what I came out here for then I hope you don't mind me not sticking around?" I turned to leave, but his big hand restrained my arm, and I turned around to face him.

"What do I have to do to prove it to you?" His eyes burned into mine, and I wanted to believe him, but that would mean I would be standing in the presence of a werewolf.

"If you're a werewolf, then turn into one." I challenged him.

He smiled and moved his hands to start pulling off his cut offs. I looked at him horrified. Did he misinterpret what I said? Was that secret code for something else?

"What are you doing?!" I exclaimed. He paused and tilted his head at me with a quizzical look on his face.

"I was going to change into a wolf, like you asked."

"While taking off your pants?"

"Well, these are the only pair I have with me, and I'm running out with all my brothers taking them from me and tearing them up." He acted like it was all so very simple as to why his pants were coming off.

"Makes perfect sense now." I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and took off into the foliage. I sat back anxiously waiting to see what was going to leap out from behind the bush.


	6. Chapter 6

I heard a ripping sound, and I jumped from where I was standing. I stared off into the spot where Jacob had disappeared. Something rustled the bush and I backed up, my heart beating out of my chest.

I saw something move in the shadows, but I couldn't believe it. There couldn't be anything that big. I backed myself into a tree, and gripped the side of it, bracing myself.

A huge beast covered in russet fur emerged from the shadows, and my breath got caught in my throat as I tried to take in what was standing in front of me. I stood there not able to move. The creature bent his head down so that it was eye level to me, and I stifled the scream that was stuck in my throat. But then I looked into its eyes and relaxed. I recognized those warm, dark eyes.

"Jacob," I whispered astonished. The giant wolf nodded its head, and held my gaze.

"Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh," I kept whispering over and over again, cradling my head. This couldn't be real. There weren't werewolves; they were extinct, but here stood one right in front of me. What else had they lied about? What had Demetrius lied about to me? I felt my anger rise; I hated being lied to. I hated them thinking that I couldn't take care of myself; that I was a delicate little flower that can't handle the harshness of reality. Maybe they were right because here I was freaking about someone finally telling me the truth. No, it was there fault, always their fault for making me believe a lie, and then when the truth comes along, I couldn't handle it.

Frustrated, my hand balled up into fists and I started hitting the nearest tree, ignoring the pain that was shooting up my arm.

"Joni! Joni, calm down," I felt someone grab my arms and pin them to my sides. My breathing was heavy and I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

"You tell me to turn into a wolf, I do, and you go crazy on me. What was all that about?" Jacob turned me around to face him; he had changed back and put his clothes on without me even knowing. I cried harder, and he pulled me to his chest, smoothing back my hair, trying to comfort me.

"I'm just so tired of being lied to, and being treated like I'm a child." I hiccupped into his chest, feeling a little better.

He picked up my chin to look up at him, and his hot hand felt so good in the cool night air. His gaze locked with mine, and I felt butterflies starting a dance party in my stomach," I'll never lie to you." I believed him and smiled.

He started to stroke my cheek, and his mouth lowered to mine.

The world stopped and seemed to sigh. It felt so right; every inch of my body felt alive. His hand cup the back of my neck, pushing us closer together. My hand weaved into his thick, dark hair, pulling him farther down to me.

I could only describe this as 'wow', as his hot breath came into my mouth. I've never been kissed like this before; it was nothing like Demetrius'. I froze and felt the guilt hit me. Demetrius.

I pulled away, and he looked at me hurt like he had done something wrong. "I'm so-"he started to apologize, but I cut him off.

"No, I'm sorry. This has nothing to do with you. It's just, just" I searched for the right words," I'm already involved with someone, and he cares for me a lot, and I care for him."

He looked disappointed, and for once I wished that there wasn't Demetrius. That he wasn't here holding me back. I loved Demetrius; he had treated me right since the day I moved here, but Jacob was just something else entirely. I was caught and I didn't know what to do, and I felt torn. My common sense was telling me to go back to the house and forget about Jacob. I'd only met him earlier today. Go for the relationship that had foundation, history to it. But something else, something deeper, more meaningful was telling me to stay here. I was meant to be here.

I looked up at him feeling helpless, and he sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I can't believe I'm going through this again.' He breathed and then looked up at me," Well, what do want to do then? Do you want to go back?"

I shook my head and shrugged," I'm not really sure what I want."

"Do you want me to go away and leave you alone?" He asked watching my expression. He waited anxiously, scared of how I might answer it.

"No!" I said before he thought that I would want him to leave. I didn't want to lose him when I had just met him; I didn't want to lose the feelings he gave me. "I just I need some time to think."

He smiled at me, and came over to take my hand in his big one and rub my knuckles. I loved how right it felt, how my tense body relaxed from his small gesture.

"Okay. I can give you that. I'll come here every day for the next seven days, and if you don't come back by the last day, then I'll go." He said, and I felt glad that he wasn't letting me have time to think things through, and the fact that he would be here for the next few days.

"Could you come during the day? It'd be easier to get away from Demetrius." I said, and I could feel the guilt rise from sneaking around him, but I almost liked the recklessness that it caused too. Besides, I needed to figure out what was here; what was pulling me towards Jacob.

"Perfect." He said and smiled at me.

"I should really go back now." I said regretting that I had to leave all too soon.

"I'll walk you," He offered, and swung his arm around my shoulders. We started walking back, and I looked up at him and smiled.

"A werewolf, huh?"

He laughed and nodded," So, you believe me now."

I nodded my head and asked, "What's it like?"

He shrugged," A lot of responsibility, but not so bad now that I've gotten use to it, accepted it."

"What was it like living when humans ruled? I mean when vampires weren't really known."

He groaned," Sometimes, they were even more troublesome because they were so secretive, sneaking around in the shadows. But it was nice, when I was actually able to be normal. There was a lot more freedom, and a lot more people were happy. It was how it was supposed to be."

"Do all werewolves live as long as you? Are they turned like vampires?" I asked finally able to quench the curiosity of their kind since I was young.

"Eww, no. It's something you're born with. You have to have it running through you're blood to be a werewolf, and there has to be a vampire around. We're protectors; we exist because they do. We don't suck blood to live. We're normal, except for the fact that we turn into big hairy wolves." He chuckled and then went on to answer my other question,"

" I just chose to live this long. Most of my family and friends, my original pack, they all moved on. I'm the only one left." He looked sad and stared off into the distance.

"Do you miss them?" I felt his sadness as if it were my own. That was the reasons I was against being turned; I didn't want to have to watch my family grow older while I stayed the same. I didn't want to get left behind and stuck here.

He nodded his head, and stopped. I saw that we were already at the edge of the woods with the house in the distance. I looked up at him, and gave him a sympathetic smile," I'm sorry, Jacob, about your family and friends but I'm glad you're here."

He smiled down at me," Me, too." And he bent down and gave me a soft, kiss with the slightest hesitation for effect that took my breath away. He chuckled and broke away, and left me wanting more.

"See you soon, Joni." and walked back through the forest. I stood there for a while staring at his back, before I turned around and started walking back to the house, preparing for Demetrius' return.


	7. Chapter 7

The shiny, black vehicle pulled around and Demetrius stepped out, and looked up to smile at me. I ran down the stairs and threw my arms around him. He still looked the same, still smelt the same, he still had that icy coldness about him that made me shiver. I don't know why I had expected something different, maybe because I was so different.

He kissed the top of my head and ruffled my hair before he let me go and started walking toward the house, his arm wrapped around my waist. He let the servants get his things to put upstairs. I realized that as his pledge, I should be doing that, but he had always made sure that I didn't.

"So, how was your weekend? Look like you survived." He joked.

I stared up at his flawless features and loving gaze, wishing that I could give him the same thing. He smiled, but it didn't have the same effect it use to have.

"Boring." I said breaking his gaze, and pulling away from him. I couldn't stand for his arms to be around me knowing I didn't deserve his love that I wanted someone else. Gah, what was wrong with me?

"Well, I'm eager to see what you've been writing since I left." He said looking around for my journal that was usually my companion more often than my shadow. I realized that I didn't have it. This was the longest time since I had gotten my first notebook that I was without it. But what surprised me the most was that I didn't want to write in it because I knew what the subject would be.

"Oh, well, there isn't much. I couldn't think of anything," I made up of the pathetic excuse on the spot, hoping that he wouldn't point out that even without inspiration I would come up with something, even a poem about writing without inspiration. I looked at him, biting my nails. He was going to catch me I knew it. He was going to forbid me from seeing Jacob, and be forever confined to this house. It was the least I deserved for trying to keep something from him, after all he had done.

"Oh, well, happens to the best of us." And he kissed me gently before he went up to his room to get things he brought back from his bag upstairs. I took a deep breath and let it out. I could feel relieved for the time being.

"Charla." I heard him call, and I froze. Oh no, he knew. He found something. My muddy shoes, he saw Jacob in the window waiting by the forest, I had subconsciously wrote in my journal, or my guilt had involuntarily created another me that was upstairs confessing everything to him. I looked up and said a prayer to God, Buddha, Allah, the purple dinosaur, anyone and everyone that could help me. Come on, I wasn't an all bad person, so I didn't listen all the time, I had talked back to a few teachers, I didn't obey all the rules and codes. I deserved some kind of nugget of luck.

I trudged my way upstairs ready to face Demetrius. He was by his writing desk, stifling through some of the papers left on top when I entered the room. He looked up and cleared his throat. I felt a lump form in the back of my throat, as he stared me down.

"Did you go through my things?" He asked cracking a smile. I felt a gush of wind leave my chest as I realized that I had been holding my breath.

"Guilty as charged." Was this what he had called me up here for?

"I hope you didn't try and save anything I'd rather have thrown away." He said coming from behind his desk holding up a few of his papers. I had done that before; I had tried to save things that I considered to be worth saving and he had labeled as the next bin to go into the fire.

"No, I kept everything here, hoping you could make a good decision for yourself and be able to see how great some of this stuff is." I avoided his advance and walked over to stare out the window.

"Well, that was thoughtful of you," he said joining me at the window.

I shrugged and stared off at the spot that I would meet Jacob later. It felt strange having Demetrius beside me and wanting to be somewhere else, somewhere he wasn't.

"What's on your mind?" he asked leaning on his elbow against the frame of the window. I felt myself stiffen. Could he tell what I had just been thinking? Had he picked up mind reading on his travels? Right now would be a good time to confess everything. He would forgive me, probably even tell me it wasn't a big deal; I was just blowing it out of proportion. I watched the moment pass, and waved goodbye as went by.

I shrugged. He sighed and his sweet breath blew into my face, and I closed my eyes. It almost made me sick now.

"Well, it must be something. I leave for one weekend and I come back and you're not writing, you're quiet, and avoiding me almost. What's the matter? Was I gone that long?"

Long enough, I thought. He was too generous; he was giving me another opportunity to tell him. I turned to him and looked into his red rimmed eyes," I just been thinking a lot about the past." Damn my cowardice.

He nodded his head in understandment. I saw something moved by the forest, and I looked at Demetrius hoping that he had missed it. He was already at his desk. Now was my chance. I would deal with the guilt later, right now, the want to see Jacob again was outweighing everything. Even the part that was telling me that I owed Demetrius everything that I could at least stay with him the day he comes back, but even that part was silenced by my other need. I walked over running my finger over the top of the mahogany, avoiding his look.

"I think I'm going to take a walk outside. You know just think things out on my own."

"That's probably a good idea." He said smiling at me."I'm going to wash up, see you at dinner." He kissed me lightly before he grabbed some clothes and was in his restroom, the shower already running. I stood there for a little bit before I walked out of his room, and down the stairs. I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door to the forest.

I thought it was funny how blind love could be. Demetrius couldn't see past my lies or my secrets, I couldn't listen to my senses that were yelling at me to go back. I entered the forests again and saw Jacob leaning carelessly against a tree, smiling at me devilishly. I felt all my guilt drift away and replaced by the pure enjoyment of being in his company.

"Hey," he greeted me as he pushed himself off the tree and walked over to me. He offered his hand and I took it, as he led me down a new road in my life.


	8. Chapter 8

Ever since, I had found excuses to go outside. I had seen Jacob everyday and Demetrius, as far as I knew, wasn't even suspicious. It felt wrong for sneaking around, but being with Jacob felt more right than anything else. But now I had a new obstacle. I promised Jacob I would meet him tonight, and I didn't want to disappoint him, but I couldn't see me getting past Demetrius. I was pacing in my room, gathering up my nerve to try and sneak out. He would know if I tried to sneak out, and I couldn't lie to him. He would see right through it.

I had to try. I summed up as much courage and prayed for some acting skills and made my way to Demetrius' study. I stood in front of the door and took a deep breath before I knocked.

The door flew open before I could knock and there stood Demetrius. He still looked like a Greek god, but he had lost something. Maybe it was the knowledge that there was something else I wanted now.

He looked at me concerned," You okay? I thought you were going to run a whole through the floor with all your pacing."

I blushed, and tried to keep an innocent look on my face," I just can't sleep. I was coming to tell you I was going to take a walk."

"Good idea. I'll go with you."

"No, that's fine. You're busy and I'll be fine alone." I quickly said hoping it didn't sound too eager.

"Are you sure? I could just work on this later."

"Yeah. I wanted to think some things out on my own anyway."

He gave me a loving smile and kissed me lightly on the forehead, I quickly broke away not able to take his sincerity and the fact that I was getting away with the lie. He made me feel so guilty and his belief and love for me only made it worse. I told him I would be back soon, and hurried away from the room.

I stuffed my hands in my coat, and took off out the door. I hurried over to the forest, hoping he wasn't watching me through the window. As soon as I was in the safety of the trees, I felt something warm yank me against a tree trunk and kiss me urgently. I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting the heat seep through my body.

"I missed you," he whispered huskily against my lips.

"I missed you too." We smiled at each other, and he wrapped an arm around me pulling me to his chest, and then steering us into the forest. I could hardly feel the cold anymore, now that he was by me.

"You ready to have some fun?" he asked staring down at me.

"What are we going to be doing?"

"You'll see when we get there. It's a surprise." He chuckled.

* * *

We came to a small opening where some lean-to's all around and tents were set up. There was a bonfire starting to be ignited in the middle of it all, while people hurried around preparing themselves for something.

"What is all this?" I asked as I looked up from him.

"This is my tribe and most of the resistance. I wanted you to meet them. We're having a bon fire" He smiled down at me, and started walking forward, me in tow.

People looked up as he came into the clearing and started to greet him excitedly. He seemed important as people rushed out of their homes, and leaving what they were doing to say hi. He introduced me to many people, who all looked at like they already knew me. It seemed like he was just showing me off now.

A group of huge teenage boys came out from one of the tents, and tackled Jacob to the ground. They wrestled for a little bit before they stood up and dusted themselves off, laughing.

He went to stand by me and introduced the boys to me," Joni, meet these hooligans Ronny, James, and Talan. Guys meet Joni."

I smiled at them, and one of them wrinkled their noses at me, "Ugh she really does stink. But I guess you like that, huh?"

I felt Jacob stiffen next to me, and the guy held up his hands," Sheesh, it was a joke. Nice to meet you Joni, I'm Ronny."

It was hard to tell them apart, they were all so tall, and stood with the same posture; they could have been triplets, except for small differences that were hard to catch. Ronny seemed to be more of the jokester and was already running off to cause mischief somewhere else; Jacob shaking his head at him as he left. Another boy that had a nice smile and sympathetic eyes offered his hand to me as he stepped forward," I'm Talan and this James."

He indicated the boy that kept his distance from me and just inclined his head at us before walking off. I noticed his hands were shaking horribly as he left.

"The smell bothers him that's all." Talan said apologizing for James.

"It's okay." I said. I couldn't help the way I smelt; it wasn't like I rolled around in Demetrius' dirty laundry or kissed him, intentionally. He smiled at me and then took off to catch James.

"So that's the pack?" I asked looking at Jacob. Talan's hand had been warm like Jacob's and they all only had pants on. Their manners all matched each others.

"Part of the pack. There's a lot more running around here, if you can catch them. They're probably all sneaking food from the provisions tent." He smiled down at me. He looked up and I saw a very pretty girl with just a t-shirt and pants on talking with another boy who was also bare chested with just the bare esstentials on.

"See there are the twins Leah and Seth. They're named after people that were in my original pack." He said pointing to the two that smiled and waved at us.

"And that's Thomas over there with Marina and Susan." And he pointed to a group carrying more kindling for the fire.

"There's also Dane and Patrick with Talan, you've already met him. I told you he would be eating and over there-"he would have kept on listing but I cut him off.

"Jacob, how many werewolves are there?"

"A lot. More than we've ever had, but that's mainly due to so many vampires so out in the open. I think our last head count there were about 24 of us."

My jaw dropped and he laughed at me and chucked me under the chin playfully to close it," See, far from extinction."

A catchy beat and a rough voice started floating through the air. I looked around trying to see where it was coming from. I looked over and saw a small box, on the ground where a young boy was turning some knobs on it, manipulating the music.

"What is that?" I asked curiously.

"A radio."

"Like a radio, radio? The ones from way back?" I thought they didn't make those anymore. We all had feeds that we attached to our wrists that were multi-purposed so if we wanted to see a movie or listen to music or our liege wanted to talk to us then it was all there. Luckily, Demetrius never forced me to wear one, but I had it in my room if I wanted to use it. Vampires liked the feeds better because they said that they didn't butcher their voices or looks, and they also broadcasted news and new decrees. A light beeped if there was something important on there, but usually we were so far from civilization that the new codes hardly affected us.

"Yeah, it's an antique I guess. I got it from my friends as a birthday present a long time ago." His eyes drifted off to another time period seeing something totally different.

"Oh. What's that music?" I asked walking closer to it to get a better look. I'd never heard anything like it. It wasn't like the music that they played on the feeds. It wasn't hypnotizing or unbearably sweet, but made me want to move to it and sing along. I didn't feel so inferior by it.

"It's not that cat strangling sound that those leeches call music if that's what you're asking," he laughed coming up behind me to wrap his arms around my waist. I leaned into his heat and laughed along with him.

"It's just some old CD's that we were able to salvage and I had left over from back in the day." He answered my question, glad that he could make me laugh. "We get to choose what we want to listen to and not have it thrown at us like those bracelets they make you guys wear."

"I don't have to wear one." I pointed out.

He laughed," You're so headstrong, there's no point in trying to manipulate you into buying their crap. You have a mind of your own." He kissed the top of my head and I smiled. I liked that he thought I had my own mind.

Someone started tugging on his pant leg and we both looked down to see a little girl with dirt smeared on her face smiling up at us.

She said in a tiny voice," Will you dance with me, Jacob?"

I pulled out of his arms, and pushed him toward the group that was dancing as soon as the music had started," Of course, he will."

He gave me a big smile before he swept her up into his big arms and started bouncing her up and down toward the group. I backed away from it all to observe everything that was going on. They all looked like one big family. I had never seen or experienced anything so carefree and light hearted. Even the older people were laughing and tapping their feet to the music. I could hear the chatter and smells from the cooking tent, and I felt at home for once.

I watched Jacob dancing and the little girl giggling. He would make a great father one day, as I watched his body moving to the music and let my mind wander.

"You make him really happy." A voice said beside me. I jumped and saw that it was Leah from the pair of twins Jacob had pointed out earlier.

"He makes me happy." I said blushing to be caught staring at him and fantasizing.

"That's the way it's supposed to be." She smiled at me knowingly. "I'm glad he found you, no one's seen him like this before."

At that second he looked up at me and we locked eyes. He smiled and I returned it. I don't think I would ever get use to the way he could make me feel so loved with just those little stares.

"Just keep making him happy, and everyone will like you, even James eventually."

I looked at her puzzled," Why's that?"

"You know, chief's happy, we're happy. His mood is just contagious." She shrugged.

"Chief?" I exclaimed. He never said anything about being the leader of the resistance.

"Yeah, he never told you?" She looked like she said something she shouldn't have.

I shook my head. At that moment the song ended and he came over and put his arm around me. I looked up at him accusingly and he looked at Leah.

"What have you been talking about?" he accused her.

I answered for her," Nothing, just girl talk… Chief Jacob." I smiled up at him, and he turned on Leah.

"You're just like you're name sake. Always a pain." He joked.

She shrugged," Thanks. I take that as a complement." She walked off to join her brother who just came out of tent chewing on something I'm guessing he stole from the cooking tent with all the yells coming out of it, shooing him off. He split it in half and offered it to Leah as they moved off to join the other group talking around the fire.

I elbowed Jacob in the ribs," Why didn't you tell me you were the leader."

He shrugged," I didn't think it was that important."

"Right. Not important to know that I'm with the leader of the pack." I said sarcastically.

He shrugged it off, and pulled me closer to the fire," Come one they're about to serve the food and start the stories."

"Stories?"

"They're just about the beginning of our tribe and such. You'll like it. Talan tells them and he's one of the best story tellers we've ever had. You'll lucky you get to hear it from him; I use to have to tell them and I butchered it. People would walk out or play sick to avoid me telling it. That's how bad I was." He laughed.

"I bet you did just fine." I reached up and pressed my lips to his. He pulled me closer to him, and people started yelling at us and cat calling. I blushed and tried to pull away, but he only held me closer and swept me up in his arms and spun around in a circle before he set me down, and broke the kiss. I blushed deeper and tried to clear my head as I sat down and everyone clapped and ooo'ed and aww'ed.

"If you two are done, we'd like to eat now. I don't want to lose my appetite." Ronny said from across the fire, as he worked on his plate that was piled with food. Leah was beside him and smacked him behind his head, making him choke on what was in his mouth. Everyone laughed.

"We could only be so lucky if you lost you're appetite. We might get a chance at the food then." The boy named Thomas yelled at him from the other side of the circle, and the banter continued as they all started to gang up and make jokes at each other

The atmosphere became full of chatter and laughter and soon the food was brought out. My eyes went huge to see the quantity of it all, and the smells were amazing. My mouth was already watering to finally taste something that wasn't going to bland. The food was served and when everyone had a plate, Talan stood up to begin the tale of their origins.


	9. Chapter 9

I came back inside, still feeling the glow of the evening on me. I've never tasted anything like the food they made; I ate so much that I felt like I couldn't move. Their food was probably the reason they passed the Health Food Decree; you couldn't stop after you started. And the stories… Talan had done an amazing job. It was like he weaved magic in the air, drawing me back into the past with him. I hung my coat up in the closet and hummed one of the tunes they had played this evening as I made my way upstairs.

"Did you have a good time?" Demetrius asked as I passed by his study. I walked in to see him in an arm chair reading a book.

I pulled a fake yawn for effect," Sorry, I didn't mean to take so long, but I fell asleep along the way." I stretched acting like my body was stiff.

"Well, glad to see you woke up and came back." He smiled at me and I could see in his eyes that it looked like he was hiding something from me. I walked over to him, and sat on the arm of his chair.

"Tolstoy, again?" I asked looking at the cover of the book.

"Yes, I find that every time I read it, I can relate to it in a different way."

I read the cover again and saw that he was reading _Anna Karenina_. I felt the irony of it; even, I could relate to that story now. I looked away letting the guilt hit; I hoped my ending wouldn't be like hers. I put a smile on my face and tried to act like nothing was wrong.

"Are you going to turn into a Russian, high society woman?" I joked with him.

He smiled," No, more so to the husband." I felt myself tense up. No, it was just coincidence that's all, I tried to reassure myself. I felt the panic start to rise, and I got up and started to walk toward the door," I'm going to bed now." I told him as I started to leave.

"Okay, sweet dreams" He said to my back. Just when I was about to shut the door, he added," And, Charla?" I peeked in to see what he wanted.

"Take a shower, will you? You reek of werewolf."

I felt my heart stop beating and all the color drain from my face. I could hear the piles of lies I had built up over the days start to crumble on top of me. I sat frozen my hand on the knob, unable to move. He looked up from his reading with a coy smile on his features and his eyes took on a predatory look. For once, I really did fear him.

"Don't act so surprised. I knew the day I came home. I could smell him in the woods, on your clothes, in your hair. I gave you enough time to enjoy yourself, run around with those mutts, so that you can get it out of your system. But is enough is enough." He slammed the book down on the table that crumbled under his strength and anger.

He stood up and was in front of me, staring me down," This little affair of yours ends, NOW!"

I shook my head, unable to find my voice. I couldn't let Jacob go, and I felt the tears running down my face as I shook my head more trying to tell him I couldn't do that. I felt like a piece of me was being yanked out. He grabbed me by the arm and shook. His grip was rough, but I knew he was holding back; he could do a lot more damage than a few bruises.

"Is this a joke to you? Either you end this, or I'll go in there and break his neck now if you'd like?" Tears came pouring down my face in torrents as I shook my head vigorously, if he killed Jacob, I wouldn't survive.

He released my arm, and I fell to the ground in a heaving pile unable to stand on my own, as he paced the room. "I don't understand, Charla. Do you know how generous I'm being? I should've called the guards the second I knew they were here. I have the entire resistance in my back yard and I'm letting them go because I know your affections for them. I should walk in there and tear down their camp and turn them in or destroy them myself." I looked up at him with pleading eyes, still not able to find my voice just yet, my breathing coming out in sobs.

He bent down and looked me in the face," Charla, you're making this into a bigger ordeal than it is. In fifty years, you'll forget all about them." I looked away, so he was still planning on keeping me. He wasn't going to dismiss me; I wasn't going to be sent back in shame. I closed my eyes. No, he was going to punish me to something far worse, an eternity away from Jacob, an eternity as a monster.

I looked up at him again and reading my expression, his face took on a look of disgust," What is about those mongrels that you like?" He pushed me away, and my bones rattled and my body hurt from the force of it. His anger was getting worse.

"I gave you everything. I took you out of that hell hole of a home, and gave you your own room, a cook and maids for your every need, clothes, and this." And with that he reached into his desk drawer and tossed a small book at me. I looked at the cover, and the title read," The Works and Musings of Charla A. Poynter." I flipped through the pages and saw some of my writings; short stories, poems, everything that he considered to be good that he had read. I hugged the book to my chest and started crying more as he went on to tell me how ungrateful I was,

"I let you get away with so damn much! I treat you like a damn angel. When you wanted to sneak around with those dogs, I let you; I turned the other way. Is that what you want? You want to live out there like them, sleeping on the ground, in the cold, hiding from the guards and waiting for the day to be found! As long as you have your love, right?" He said sarcastically and I looked up to glare at him, and he sneered at me.

"You really did think he loved you; you fell for it, didn't you? Well let me tell you something, your precious Jacob doesn't love you. He was just trying to get you to join the resistance, just trying to build his army, and see how much money he could get you to bring along. That's what he does, Charla, and he gets his little werewolf girlfriends to do the same for the boys. It was a scam; that's all you were to him." I covered my ears and shook my head trying to block him out; he was lying, I knew it.

I felt papers being thrown at me, and I opened my eyes to see what they were. They were official reports with the names and pictures of humans, and confessions. I looked over them and they all seemed to have the same thing.

A girl from somewhere called Dublin confessed that a tall, tan boy, by the name of Jacob had asked her to join the resistance. She confessed that she had been sneaking around to see him that he told her he loved her. She was caught trying to sneak away after stealing away with her lieges valuables.

Another boy from the Middle of something said a girl by the name of Leah had convinced him to try and runaway with her. He was found trailing the group several weeks after he was reported missing. And another girl that mentioned Talan and her friend meeting Ronny, and more and more humans I didn't recognized, but the wolves they kept mentioning. Jacob seemed to be the most mentioned. I threw the papers from me, unable to read anymore; they were making sick. I felt something cold form in my stomach as the truth started to settle in.

I looked up and glared at Demetrius," Are you happy? I hate them now! I fell for their stupid trick; stupid Joni fell for it. I hope you're glad, you got what you wanted." I stood up, and started making my way to the door.

"No, I'm not happy. I don't like to see you hurt; I was just trying to save you from them hurting you more. I'm sorry you had to find out this way." He came over to me in a flash and took my hand in his. I still had the book he had published for me in my other hand. I hated him at that second, I hated Jacob, I hated being here, what they had done, what I had done, Demetrius telling me the truth, Jacob and the pack lying, but most of all I hated myself. I had gone along with it all like a stupid puppet. I yanked my hand from his, and shoved the book into his chest.

"Charla…" he called out to me like I was a child throwing a tantrum. I stomped my way over to the door, and turned around to glare at him before I left,

"My name's Joni, not Charla." I slammed the door in his stunned face.


	10. Chapter 10

**OMG, fall has finally arrived in Texas, at least the gulf part, don't know how the border's doing, but it is great here (the universe, she is good)!! I'm so excited like you have no idea. I woke up this morning, dragged my self to school, went to my morning class and then to chemistry. This is how fast the weather changes here, we got out for a break at 10:30 and it was about 85 or something because I was regretting wearing my jacket, I remember and then we go out again for another break at 11:00, and it is nice and chilly, we live by the gulf so 60 is a major difference than the usual 80, 90 weather (TEXAS SHEESH) anyway the weather made me so happy I had a good day. i turned in my current events talked to the cute motorcycle guy, raced another guy home and won! (yes my little truck finally won a race mainly because I kind of blocked him in with another car lol he should have never challenged me!!) and i came home singing tom petty and my parents thought my fever had reached a new high . but no it was just the weather was so marvelous If I wasn't sick, then I would be out there picking up the pecans that are finally falling off the trees with the winds coming and stuff, and this year we have big pecans, I was picking some up on my way from my car and would have stayed out there if my mom hadn't yelled at me to come inside!!! (just so you know I decided to go to school she didn't force cus in college absences mean a lot more than in high school [I'm in collegiate high school) Ohh I love fall, not winter I'm dreading winter, but fall is the best!!! any way this isn't a blog what am I doing get on with the story. **

Disclaimer: you know the drill. i own nothing.

* * *

For the next few days, I was a ghost. I sat in my room and would stare off into space, trying to avoid what was going on in the present. Demetrius tried coming in and talking to me, tried to make me feel better, but I would ignore his efforts and him, and he would walk out angry. I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't talk, I didn't even glance at my journal, and I burned the copy of the book he had published that he had placed on my table. He was getting more and more annoyed with me and my antics, but I could care less, and since last night's episode, he backed off a little.

He had barged into my room, while I was sitting in a chair gazing out the window, and carried me to the kitchen. He threw me into a chair, and tossed a plate of food in front of my face. He sat across the table from me, his chin resting on his hands, as he waited for me to eat what was on the table. I'm not sure how we long we sat there; he staring at me, me staring at the food. I felt the table shake and the plate rattle, as his hand came down on the table. I looked up to see a dangerous glint in his eyes, and he rose from his chair, steadying himself with the table that was starting to bow to his strength.

"I should have never let this get so far." He breathed out. The plate flew off the table and hit the ground, shattering into many pieces and the food flying all over the floor before I knew it. "I don't know what to do with you." He yelled at me, as I felt his cool body right beside my chair I closed my eyes and agreed with him, I didn't know what to do with myself. I had a good life; I had a set life before Jacob came in and had to ruin it all. Now, I couldn't go back to what I had known, I had to go forward now and live with the mess he had made. I felt a cool breeze fly by, and I opened my eyes to see that I was alone now. I sat there for awhile, staring at the place the food had occupied, realizing that it had been metaphorical. I had denied the food and thus Demetrius. I stood up from my chair and walked back up to my room.

He hadn't come to my room all day. I sat there gazing out my window, into the woods that had disrupted my previously almost perfect world; I weighed my options to what I could do now. I could ask Demetrius to send me back to the home or to a factory; I wasn't the girl he had brought home with him from the beginning. He deserved someone that wanted him completely and wholly, and who didn't mope around still hung up on some guy that, quite frankly, was a jerk, and had used me. Or my other option was try to pick up the pieces and become that person I use to be, to become Charla again. I stared over at my journal that was the portal to that old alter ego of mine. Could I be her again? After how much I had enjoyed being me for once, the love I had felt for being just Joni, could I step into Charla's shoes again? Hadn't Joni caused all these problems? She got me into this mess by running around with Jacob; believing all his lies over Demetrius, who truly loved me. I reached over, and picked up my journal to begin writing again.

I walked over to Demetrius' study and opened the door and walked in. Demetrius looked up from his sitting chair where he was sitting and gazing into the small fire that was dancing in the fireplace. I held up my hand to stop what ever question that was forming on his lips, and walked over to place my journal on the table beside him that he had replaced the night he had confronted me. He looked up questioningly at me, but I just smiled and walked out, closing the door behind me. I went into my room and sat down, waiting for him to come in and talk to me when he was done. I knew it would just be a few minutes, but I still had some time to sit and think some things through. I sat down and tapped my pencil on my desk. I felt a little better from writing, and letting everything out. And when I say everything, I meant everything. I wrote everything that had happened, not wanting to leave anything out. I wanted a clean start, and wanted Demetrius know exactly what had happened. The feelings that had erupted in me from the first startling meeting with Jacob to the kiss that had altered my entire world and swept me off my feet to the fun, loving, and accepting atmosphere at the resistance camp. I put in the guilt that I had felt from all my lying and sneaking around, and a formal apology at the end for being so ungrateful and undeserving of Demetrius' good will.

I sighed, so I was being selfish and saving my hide. I still wanted Jacob, no matter what he had done to me; something had felt so right being with him, like being whole for the first time. But I needed to see what was good for me and that was Demetrius. He cared for me more, could offer me more, and was just the better choice all around, and I knew fifty, one hundred, two thousand years, or however long we lived, he would still love me unconditionally. He also never pretended to care for me to see how much he could get out of me. And Demetrius could be right, fifty years from now I would probably forget about all this, though I doubted that, I needed to look on the bright side.

A cool breeze blew into my room, and I felt cold lips at my neck kissing me slightly. I smiled and turned to look at him.

"So?" I asked hoping that I was forgiven.

"Very nice, some of your best work." He said smiling and looking me in the eyes.

"So, I'm forgiven?"

"Darling, you were never in real trouble." I wanted to ask what the table breaking, paper throwing, plate shattering was all about, but I let it slide, we were finally getting back on track to what we were.

"And what did you think of the ending," I joked with him for the true ending had yet to be written and was proving to be a great work in the making.

"Marvelous. I especially enjoyed the part about the dashing vampire that gets the girl in the end and they live happily ever after, leaving the werewolf in their dust," he laughed and spun me around my chair. I laughed with him glad that we could finally be on good terms again. He was my best friend; I was happy when he was happy. He stopped the chair and looked me deep in the eyes before he bent down to place his cold lips on mine. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his cold neck, holding him closer to me. This was where I was meant to be. I didn't need Jacob, no matter how much my heart was crying for him. Pretty soon, I would be asking," Jacob, who?"


	11. Chapter 11

**ughh i hate weekdays, i'm seriously dead on my feet. there's so much i had to do this week and i shouldn't have wrote this up but i did and now i'm paying for it. ususally this is the way I cram for everything and make good grade but with the meds they put me on i'm barely staying awake plus it takes away my apetite so i don't know when i'm hungry til i'm about to pass out from hunger and my stomach starts having serious hunger pains. happened today in chemistry i was shaking cus all i had was my usual coffee and i hadnt eatin since i think sunday and a little yesterday morning and i hadn't even realized it til i was like aww my stomach hurts so tired, then click oh hey be nice if i ate something. to add the glorious day i burned myself on the spatula. right when he said use tongs you can burn yourself with the spatula i put my hand right on the spot that was in the fire, and now i'm suffering at least a two degree burn. it hurts to type, but anyway hope you like it i suffered to put it out on here. **

**it may be a while before i can write again, it may be tomorrow who knows cus i don't. **

I lay in bed, letting the day's activities take its toll on me, and drift off into the arms of the moon that would take me into the realm of dreams. I had spent the day with Demetrius like it had been like old times. We sat in each others company, while I wrote and he sketched me bent over my work; he would groan frustrated and crumble up his work and throw it away. I laughed when he did this, like old times, and he would start over again only repeat it in a few seconds. We were Charla and Demetrius again, reunited. Though something had been off; I could hear the old Joni in my head yelling at me, telling me this wasn't what I wanted, but I would shut her out and tried to enjoy the afternoon. Couldn't she get it that Jacob wasn't coming back? He wasn't in our lives anymore. Get it and move on.

I stretched and rolled over, and let myself drift off. It would take some time, but eventually all would be like it used to be. I was dozing off, between sleeping and being awake, when I felt a big, hot hand closed down on my mouth, and I felt myself being yanked out of bed. I felt my scream being stifled as I was hauled up into big strong arms that were hotter than an oven and then being hurled over the window seal. My stomach dropped as we plummeted on to the ground and I knew that I was going to end up as a pancake on the front lawn. By some kind of miracle, the giant that had me in his arms hit the ground and bounded up easily and sprinted, superhumanly fast, toward a vehicle waiting for us. The door opened and we jumped in, and the door slammed shut behind us, as the engine roared and we lifted up from the ground and soared through the air. I looked behind and saw us leaving my home behind, and the light flashing on in my room. I knew how angry and disappointed Demetrius would be. I looked over to my kidnapper beside me who was receiving slaps on the back and congratulatory high fives. Before I saw his big smile and dark eyes laughing back at me, I knew who it was. I tried to ignore the part of my body that was sighing in relief and rejoicing being with him again, and let the other part, the part that was boiling over with anger take over and gave Jacob a forceful shove that didn't have near the effect I was hoping for. But it did get his attention, as he looked down at me with a baffled look on his face,

"Sweet escape, huh?" He asked not sure by my face how I was going to respond to that.

"Take me back now!" I yelled at him.

His face fell," Why would you want to go back? We just busted you out of there."

"I never wanted to leave and I never wanted to see you again!" I could feel the tears starting to build up and were about to spill over.

He looked hurt and everyone else stared at me as if I were crazy I looked around to see who all was here. Leah was sitting in the front and her brother, Seth, sitting beside me. Someone I recognized as a runaway pledge sat at the steering wheel, letting the vehicle glide along on autopilot, as he looked back to see what I was yelling about. I guessed he was the only one that knew how to drive this kind of technology, since most of the pack was born in the wilderness, and I also made the assumption that they had stolen this thing or had it from a long time ago from the late model of it. It still had engines that ran on the atomic fuel, created to substitute the harmful petrochemical fuel.

"You want to go back?" he stuttered out, looking at me in disbelief.

I nodded my head, and looked away from his hurt expression. I couldn't take his pain; it hurt worse than my own.

"I don't believe that," He said firmly and my head snapped up to glare at him. He went on before I could protest," I'm not taking you back to that prison. And don't try to deny that it wasn't, that leech wouldn't let you out for days. He kept you locked up; I could see you staring out your window looking miserable and that's why we came up with this plan, went in there, and busted you out. I don't know what he filled your head with, but I'm not taking you back to let him screw you up more. Keep driving to the drop off, Martin." He said to the boy who then turned around and switched off the autopilot and went down another path.

I felt how helpless I was and stared off at the window, letting the tears roll down my face, I felt his hot hand and sneak up onto my shoulder. I shook it off and turned to glare at him. Why couldn't he leave me alone?

"Well, you could at least let me try and grab as much as I could. Demetrius had some real expensive stuff we could've made a fortune off of." I said with as much venom I could muster.

He raised one eyebrow at me," What are you talking about?"

"Isn't that the scam you run? You make the dumb pledges and kids like me believe that you love them and feed them all this crap about the resistance and try to see how much stuff you can get them to bring." I asked daring him to deny me. He sat there looking speechless. And I took that chance to lean forward and talk to the boy driving,

"Is that what they did to you, Martin? Did Leah get you to run away with her?" He looked at me like I hit a tender spot and then he looked away and stared straight ahead, his knuckles going white from squeezing the steering wheel.

Leah eyes turned into slits full of scorn," You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I don't? How about that guy in the Middle East? Or that girl in Dublin or the one from London? The two friends in California? You guys have really gotten around." I said sitting back and crossing my arms across my chest. Leah started shaking uncontrollably, and Jacob leaned forward to whisper something in her ear that calmed her down. Martin reached over and grabbed her hand, as she looked over and smiled at him. Seth, sitting beside me, looked over and glared for his sister. I felt uncomfortable sitting there, but they needed to know that I knew what they did; I was onto them and wasn't going to believe their lies anymore.

We rode the rest of the way there in silence, until we landed in a deserted area that still had cement and steel as main structures. This place must be ancient as I looked around at the cracks and erosion everywhere. They didn't use this stuff anymore since they found it harmful to the environment, and found other substitutes. They kept some of the places intact where there was no help for the environment around or just didn't want to deal with it and used it as a field trip to show little kids how harmful human beings had been. We also got simulations of pollution, atomic bombing, wars, global warming, and other things that humans supposedly had caused. When they put it like that it did make the humans out to be destructive creatures that needed to be supervised.

While I looked around, they started to pull the hover vehicle into the small building and throw a cover over it. They started pulling supplies and jackets from a small hiding place. Jacob walked over and handed me a big, thick jacket that I refused to take.

"You're going to want this for the place we're going." He explained.

"Then I'll take it when we get there." I said and he shrugged and through it over his arm. "Leah, Seth, and Martin you take the West route and pick up some of the supplies around there. I'm taking Joni with me to pick up stuff from the Cullen's."

Leah stepped forward looking skeptically at me," Jake, I think that one of us should go with you." She started to say, but Jacob looked at her sternly.

"I gave you an order, Leah."

She nodded her head and stomped her way in the other direction. Jacob watched them leave before he threw a knapsack onto his back and started to walk another way.

"Wait, are you going to take me back? I want to go home" I yelled at his back.

"Nope. But you can try to find your back from here, if you like."

I stared at his back and then looked around seeing the maze that I was in. We were in the middle of nowhere and I had never been much out of the city I grew up in or Demetrius' land. Everything looked the same, and I didn't know which direction to head in; I followed him grudgingly.

We went in silence and as night started to fall, the temperature dropped dramatically. Jacob kept pushing the jacket at me and I would turn it down, until I couldn't take it anymore and took it. The cold didn't bother him any and he walked around just fine with just his cut offs on, while I shivered there miserably. I could feel me loosing all my small limbs slowly, starting with my toes, as we marched across the cold damp ground. I didn't bring any shoes when they kidnapped me, except the too big sneakers they had given me in the car. Jacob would notice this and try to put his arm around me, but I would just shake him off; I'd rather freeze,

"Keep your hands off me," I told him after his last attempt.

Jacob sighed and looked over at me," Okay, we need to talk. I really wished Talan was here to explain this, but you're stuck with me. We have done some things we aren't proud of, things we'd rather we hadn't done, but we did it to survive and help with the resistance and others. But we've never lied to people and led them to believe something else; I learned my lesson a long time ago." I rolled my eyes at him and looked away.

His hand turned my face toward him and his eyes were serious as he looked into mine," What did I tell you that first night in the forest."

I felt the lump form in my throat as I remembered, right after he said it we had kissed," That you would never lie to me."

"And I never have. I don't know what your blood sucker told you, but those people he told you about were either lying or he lied to you. I, on the other hand, can never lie to you."

"But you have lied before to get your way." He nodded his head to confirm my suspicions. Almost everyone has done it, even I've done it before, but it has always trivial things, never something that could ruin someone's life. And besides, how did I know he wasn't lying now? I didn't, and I wasn't about to be another girl with her picture on a missing report with her sad story.

He saw the doubt in my eyes and he turned my head to look into his eyes; his hand was deliciously warm in the cold night. "I can't lie to you." He said seriously and saying each word slowly and carefully to get the full impact of them.

"And why's that?" I asked skeptically.

"Because for the lack of a better word, I love you." And his eyes became intense and from his gaze how could I deny that he was telling the truth, and oh, how I wanted to believe him. I wanted to say it back, but a lump in my throat prevented me from doing so. I wasn't going to fall for it, I wasn't going to fall for it. I couldn't believe he was using the 'l' word to try and convince me, how low could you go? He could be a great actor one day.

"Joni, you're the one for me. From the moment I saw you, I knew I had imprinted. The way you were so thoughtful and off in your own world, and your laugh. You're all that matters to me now. And anything you want, I'll give it to you. If you want to go home when we reach the Cullen's then I'll take you home and never bother you again."

"That would be great." I choked out, almost unwillingly. I kept on telling myself he was lying. I wouldn't fall for how his face fell, how his eyes seemed to cry out to me, and want to ease the pain I had caused. I felt my heart break along with his, but I ignored it. I would go home and everything would be alright when I was in Demetrius' arms again. He nodded his head, looking broken like his world had come crashing down. We walked ahead, and I felt my shivering increasing. The jacket wasn't thick enough for the brutal winds here.

He looked over at me and swung me up into his arms, holding me close to his chest. I didn't have enough will power from his tempting heat to object, and just snuggle closer as we walked on. This would probably be the last time I would ever be in his arms and I cried from that harsh fact. How could I still want him after all he's done? What was this power he had over me?


	12. Chapter 12

**Should be doing homework, but I got some reviews that put such a smile on my face that I had to put the old books aside for 5 min. (okay like 10… alright an hour) sorry all work and no play make for a very sad and overworked girl, my plans for the weekend are already ruined. Everyone decides to invite me to everything, concert, party, haunted house, movies, etc., and I have to turn it all down for a tournament!!! Curse you tournament with your college scouts! shakes fist so I deserve to take a break (alright I've only hit the books hard for like two times and paused to watch America's Next Top Model. Sheesh am I under investigation "Excuse me miss we've noticed some unusual activity concerning your time management."Bright light shines into my eyes I wring hands nervously, a bead of sweat forming on my brow, "I can tell you three things: Miss Scarlet, The Wrench, and the Parlor Room. I've already said too much") anyway please enjoy, my grades would appreciate knowing they are suffering for something. Alright the books are beckoning and I must answer their call. See ya!**

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I felt myself being shaken awake from a deep sleep. I looked up from my warm cocoon and saw warm brown eyes staring back into mine. The love in them took my breath away, and I had to remind myself the person they belonged to.

"We're here." Jacob choked out, and set me on the ground. I looked up to see where 'here' was.

A huge glass house loomed before us, the windows almost black from the tint and mirrored the forest back. The house was built deep within the woods almost unnoticeable except if you knew where you were going. The structure stood at a looming two stories with a garage the size of a small hall built to the side. This couldn't belong to any human, there was no way they had the resources to build it or buy it, and that was if they could get it pass the Guards. I looked up wondering who could live in this colossal house because I could hardly see a vampire helping the resistance, much less a werewolf.

I turned to Jacob, but he was already gone from my side, and walking up to the door to ring the bell. In half a second, it seems, the door flew open and a pair of snow, white arms flew around his neck, holding him close.

"Jake! We were wondering when you would come back. We thought you would be running low on supplies and we were getting worried…" the voice was melodic and very fast too the point, I couldn't catch it all. Only one creature could achieve this and sound like a song bird. I saw Jacob pulling away to reveal and confirm my suspicions, I just couldn't believe it. She was that heartbreaking beauty that I had seen many times displayed every where, talking down to me like I was dirt on their shoes, flaunting their talents and condescending mine. She had grace I could never achieve in a human life, and a smile that could brighten up any dull room. She threw back her long dark hair, and her pouty lips drew up into a bigger smile, as she saw me. I felt myself smiling back idiotically, the old habits of being confronted by these majestic creatures coming back. As human, you could never get used to; I still couldn't get use to Demetrius, though it had wane since the beginning. The only thing that set her apart from the usual beauties on the feeds was her eyes; they were deep, warm butterscotch, and my mind tried to remember something on the subject of the vampires with light colored eyes. What was it? It had been a brief subject, brought up by a student and pushed aside immediately; something about it being unnatural.

She looked back at Jacob and her smile turned into a look of concern. He shook his head and I saw his lips move, but couldn't hear what he was saying. Of course, she could hear everything, though. She gave him a sympathetic look, and then turned to me, her face automatically brightening. She came out of the doorway and approached me. Had Jacob brought me along as a snack for not falling for his stupid trick? Had he just offered me to her? I felt my throat close from panic. He wouldn't get away with this; I don't care if I had to come back and haunt him like the Christmas Carol. I felt my heart pounding as she came closer; I cringed when I saw a small movement from her hand.

"Hello, Bella Cullen." I looked down and she was holding out her hand waiting for mine to accept her hand shake. No vampire introduced themselves to a human like they were equal. I took her hand automatically, in shock as I tried to find my voice.

"Uhh…" I was still shock from her gesture and my mind had gone blank," Charla." I finally spit out. She smiled and I saw that another vampire had appeared at her side; I jumped and tried to gain some composure in front of these two beautiful creatures. He had copper brown hair that fell perfectly around his sculpted features; the perfect frame for a masterpiece. He gave me a crooked smile, as I tried to regain a steady heartbeat. He had the same butterscotch eyes, and my brain racked harder trying to remember what it was about them that I was told about. Light eyes meant something with not following the way of life for a vampire… unnatural.

"The eyes are because of our diet." He answered the question I hadn't said out loud. I felt taken back and then realized that he must be one of the vampires we had read about that had special gifts; the ones you had to be cautious around.

"Mind reading?" I asked in my head; the question we were told to ask ourselves when we thought we were encountering a mind reader. If they answered or didn't, we were then suppose to start concentrating on something tedious and long, like trying to recite a long poem or say the alphabet backwards. He nodded his head and then started chuckling as I commenced my count down of the alphabet.

He held his hand out to me, like Bella, and introduced himself," Edward Cullen. Very nice to meet you, Charla." I took his hand, and shivered at the coldness of it. I guess I had been too shocked by Bella to notice the coldness that was now sinking deeper into my bones as Jacob's warmth started to fade. He withdrew quickly,"

"Come inside. The heater is already running." He put his arm around Bella's waist and escorted her inside. I noticed by the way those two stared at each other, the loving devotion they had in their eyes, how perfect they looked together, they had to be mates. I looked over to Jacob who had come closer to me during the introductions, as he looked at me with a sullen look on his face. I looked away from his sad expression that was on the brink of agony. His eyes had shown the same devotion that I wanted to give into, but had to remain strong against.

I focused on something else as we stepped inside and I asked him," So when are you taking me home?"

He sighed and I could hear the sadness in his voice," I have some things to do here, but it won't take long. I'll take you home as soon as we leave here." I nodded my head, and kept my gaze away from his as I could feel his eyes on me. "He was lying; I wouldn't fall for it" I repeated to myself so as not to give into him.

"Who's this you've brought along, Jacob?" I looked up at the sound of the voice and saw a blonde headed vampire standing at the stairs accompany by a motherly looking vampire standing close to him, a small pixie like vampire with short black hair closely by another blonde with a lithe build, and then a very stunning blonde woman with a muscular vampire with thick curls on his head. I shook my head in disbelief; this many vampires couldn't possibly live together like this. Only one vampire family did that, and this surely wasn't the royal family that was head of the Guard. I looked around astonished. The blonde, who seemed to be more of the head of the family, came forward at my astonished look. Edward was in the corner holding Bella in his arms with a smirk, probably inwardly laughing at my surprise.

"They try to keep us out of discussions and your curriculum at your school. They think we take away from the Volturri, and our way of life is unnatural." Edward told me, as I questioned what these vampires were.

"Yes, it's a shame what they to do to humans now a days. So many promising lives and futures cut short and stomped before they even begin." The older blonde shook his head in disappointment and then smiled at me. I never really heard a vampire praising the works of a human other than Demetrius.

"Hello, I'm Carlisle Cullen, and welcome to my home. This is my wife Esme, and my family Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, You've already met Bella and Edward." He indicated everyone when they spoke their name and looked back to smile at me.

"I'm Charla," I told him and smiled at everyone in the room. The small, pixie vampire named Alice, danced towards me and threw her arms around me. My breath caught in my throat and I froze. What was she doing? When you first met vampires they didn't even shake your hand, much less give you a hug. I stood frozen not sure what to do, maybe this was a way for her to play with her food before she got a taste of it. I slowly put my arms around her small cold frame, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"Alice, she's not used to vampires showing any affections toward humans in public." The lithe, younger male blonde came forward and I instantly felt a wave of calm and contentment spread over me as Alice broke the hug and stepped away. I breathed in deeply; glad to finally relax since I got there. He must have a gift, too. I wonder how many of them had extra talents. I smiled, thanking him for making things a little more comfortable.

"I'm Alice. I'm so excited to meet you; I haven't had anyone to dress up since Bella started demanding to wear her own clothes," and she turned to glare at Bella who just shrugged in return," I hope your staying with us for a while."

"Yeah, we haven't had any fun since the tribe took off to be on their own." The big vampire, named Emmett, said in the corner. I really didn't want to know what his type of fun was.

"Sorry guys, but we're leaving right away." Jacob interrupted their plans and their faces fell instantly looking disappointed.

"Uhh, Jacob, you take all the fun away."

"Yeah, you don't even come around anymore to wrestle. You can stay for one match at least."

Carlisle spoke up over their protest," They obviously have some important things going on. Let's get back on track. The supplies are in the garage they just need to be loaded. Rosalie's taking care of the hover car right now. She's putting some finishing touches on it."

He led the way to the garage where many vehicles stood around. I looked around and it looked like a museum that deserved to be put on display at the History of Our Race: Transportation Exhibit. We had taken a tour there when we were young to see the different ways we evolved and the destructive methods we took to get there. I looked around and noticed very ancient automobiles that even looked like they ran on gasoline; there was even a couple of motorcycles in the corner that you could tell were taken great care of because of the lack of rust. Bella noticed my attention to the two bikes and strode over to touch them affectionately.

"Do you like the bikes? Jacob built those years ago. Rosalie's done a great job of keeping them together, once Jacob decided to keep them here." She smiled warmly at him, but he didn't returned, just strode over to expect what was in the boxes.

"How do you know Jacob?" I asked curious to see how a werewolf ended up being friends with a coven of vampires.

They all smiled at each other. "Jacob and I go way back. We kind of grew up together. You can say I knew him all his life." Bella smiled at me, so they had known each other when they were humans. So how had Bella turned, turning was a very rare thing in the past. She went on," We've just tried to keep in touch most of those years, and for a while the entire Resistance use to stay with us, before we decided to separate, and Jacob decided to keep the tribe mobile."

"And he took all the fun with him." Emmett put in, and Alice nodded her head in agreement.

"But werewolves and vampires…" I asked incredulously. It was unnatural for them to get along, even the most civilized.

"Differences aside. Jacob's still my best friend. There is no vampire, werewolf between us." Bella stated firmly. "I don't care what he is, except the smell we could deal with out." Her laughter drifter along like bells on the wind.

"So how did you end up with the Resistance living with you, anyway?"

"Jacob came here one day looking for refuge for him and the tribe and we couldn't turn them out, and it was interesting having them around." Alice answered this time, smiling at some memory I guess she had from a while back.

"How did Jacob end up with the Resistance?" that was something I never got to ask him, and was always curious about how this fall into his hands. I looked over to Jacob who was still checking his supplies.

He paused momentarily and I thought he would be the one to explain and then he went back to checking the boxes. Edward's velvety voice spoke up," When the vampires started appearing, his pack was naturally some of the first ones to go up against them, and they sheltered anyone that was willing to go against the vampires as well. You can imagine that they were targeted by other vampires, and had to flee from their homes to avoid being obliterated. Jacob was already the head of the pack, so it fell into his hands. He's done a good job of leading them and keeping them alive. He's sacrificed and done a lot." He added and looked at me meaningfully. I bet, I thought to myself.

"Why do you shelter help? You're basically going against your kind, and you can be severely punished for helping."

Carlisle was the one to speak up this time," Because it is the right thing to do. Humans aren't meant to be treated like food supply and slaves. You have so much potential that you can't show because you are either dead or too afraid and beaten down to show it; you don't think you can compare to vampires. Vampires shouldn't be here to overshadow, we shouldn't have intervened into your world. You're only on this earth once, we're here for eternity; you deserve your turn to shine."

Everyone nodded in agreement with him, and his words hit an old spot, and appealed to the old me that use to think just like that, on a level I still did. But what about all humans have done, how much the vampires helped out our world. We had almost destroyed the world; maybe we did need some restrictions and supervision.

I was about to open my mouth when Jacob stood straight and cleared his throat," Thank you for all of this; we'll be able to survive if we can remain in hiding. I'll try to see you guys soon." He sighed and looked at me," Are you almost ready to go?"

I nodded my head and said goodbye to the Cullen's, maybe Demetrius and me could come visit them later on. They started leaving the garage and I was left alone with Jacob. I looked up into his face and noticed the tiredness and dark circles under his eyes. He looked ragged and spent.

"You sure you shouldn't take a nap or something?"

"No, the faster you get home the better, right? Plus, the tribe needs more supplies; we're running pretty low." He said rubbing his eyes tiredly. Why did he try to do so much; he had been the leader of the Resistance since the beginning, it must be exhausting.

"Why have you been doing this for so long? You think you would have passed it along a long time ago."

"Well, I'll never found a reason to move on so I thought if I was going to be stuck here for eternity, might as well get a good fight out of it."

"Eternity. That's how long you're planning to be around? How long do werewolves live?"

"As long as they keep transforming. I'm the same as I was when I was seventeen."

"So, you're planning on staying and fighting forever. As noble as that sounds, it doesn't sound like the ideal life. You can't possibly want to fight forever."

"As long as their vampires trying to kill humans, I will"

"But why? I mean I know what Carlisle said, but humans have proven over time that we are naturally destructive creatures that hurt the world, each other, and ourselves. Maybe a little order is needed." I suggested. His hands curled into fist and a fire came into his eyes.

"Do you actually believe that? Are you even listening to yourself? Ugh, he did a real good job of brainwashing you." He said with disgust, and I felt my anger rising.

"You don't even know him. You don't know all the things he's done for me, everything he tries to give me."

"And the only thing he asks in return is for unquestionable loyalty and trust in him and your life. He's not the person you thought you had put up on a pedestal."

"You don't even know what the hell you're talking about. It's because of Demetrius that I even got to hang out with you guys for those few days. I really wish he would've stopped me though."

"Because he let you. So, you're saying that you can do things as long as you have his permission. I swear you're so under his spell, you don't even know it. But that's just how the human's are now, all hypnotized by cold hard rocks. Everyone so dazzled, you can't even see what they're really doing."

"What exactly are they doing, since you know everything?"

"They're keeping you oblivious, ignorant so you're easier to handle. They want to group you all together and try to keep you into obedient pets, until they're done with you. They don't even tell you about what's going on, about your past, where you're from. You don't even know anything about your heritage, your culture, ancestors?"

I just looked at him, trying to figure out something to say that wouldn't prove him right because he was. I didn't know. I didn't know anything about where my family was from; I didn't even know my family. I only knew my parents, and hardly that.

"I don't need to know where I've been to know where I'm going."

"Is that you're final answer?" He smirked at me. What was his culture? Running around without your shirt, thinking you're high and mighty?

"Distinguishing and separating yourselves by rituals and cultures only creates ill feelings toward one another. There's no point in starting wars over something so trivial." I recited after my teachers.

"I'm glad to see you can repeat after them. How to respond to such a rock solid reply?" He said sarcastically and I never resented him more than right now. He was challenging everything my life was based on.

"It's one of the few reasons to fight. You're protecting your traditions, your beliefs, your sense of identity. Something that sets you apart from the others, and doesn't herd you together like cattle. But you wouldn't know anything about traditions and beliefs."

I glared at him wishing I could tell him otherwise, but I couldn't.

"What are your beliefs, Joni?"

"Charla." I corrected him. He rolled his eyes.

"Charla," he gritted between his teeth and I got some satisfaction out of it," Any beliefs, deity, religion?"

I only had the same reply that my teachers had given me," It's frowned upon to state your beliefs and try to press it upon someone else. It creates controversary." Trying to point out that that was something he was doing at the moment.

"Tell that to her." He tossed a small, slightly tattered book at me, and I caught it turning it around in my hands. It was my old journal, one of my first ones. I flipped through the pages and recognized some of my old writings that had been extremely opinionated and my fervor for human's rights and vampire arrogance had been at its highest. Of course, he would pick this book over all of them, but it was at the bottom of the box that my old journals sat in by my window. There was hardly a way he could have dug in there picking out which one he would want to bring along, Demetrius would have heard him, if not me.

"How'd you get this?" I stuttered.

"It was in the box by the window. I took it thinking you would want it. I guess I should have taken the good stuff we could have actually sold," he said mockingly and bitterly.

"But why this one? Out of all of them, you stuck your hand in there and pulled out this one?" I asked suspiciously.

He hitched one eyebrow, confused," It was the only one in there, unless there's some kind of trapped door your talking about."

"Really?" There had been a lot more than one in there. He nodded his head and I remembered that Demetrius must have taken the others. He needed my writings to have printed to publish the book for me, but did he realize he had left one of my most important ones behind? I felt the book being tugged out of my reluctant hands and I looked up to see Jacob pocketing my journal,

"If you don't mind, I'll take this back now." He told me standing up straight.

"But it's not yours." I objected, and rose to my fullest height which wasn't much compared to him.

"I don't bring people anywhere without a fee, remember? Besides I think this is the best thing I've ever gotten." He told me sarcastically, but sincerely at the end.

"But it's worthless. You wouldn't be able to sell it to be published, no vampire for half the stuff said in there."

"Do I really look like all I care about is getting things out of you?" He asked me going completely serious, his eyes burning into mine for the answer that I wouldn't give him. He ran his hand through his long hair,

"Would you believe me in saying that I wouldn't sell it for anything? I love the fact that it's urging me to fight against the vampires; that it's so anti-vamp. It's the second best thing about it."

"What's the first?"

"That you wrote it. When you're gone, this is the only thing that's going to keep me going," I looked away from his burning eyes, and I didn't want to hear the sadness in his voice that was evoking my empathy. I didn't want to feel for him, but he continued, no matter how much I wish he wouldn't," I thought that when I would drop you off at your home and you closed the door, my heart would stop beating instantly, and if that didn't happen I would at least throw myself off the cliff, or walk in on the Volturri. I didn't see a reason in continuing in this life without you; I didn't see a reason to fight anymore. But these words, they inspire me to fight, they remind me why I do it. The girl that wrote this is the one I'm suppose to be with; she's the one for me. It's a shame she's trapped inside a mask she hides behind in real life, but she's here, she lives on these pages. As long as I have this, than I have a piece of her with me, and as long as I have her, no matter what size, whatever I can get, than I know I can go on. As long as I have this, I'll have her pushing me on, urging me to fight. I'd do anything for her. For her I'll keep on fighting until those bloodsuckers bring me down, I'll go on loving her."

I closed my eyes and I could feel the tears squeeze out from behind my eyelids and streak down my face. His words hit me and I knew that no matter how long I lived I would love him. It didn't matter who I was with, he would be the one I want. I had tried to deny it, but I no longer could; I had none it all along. Ever since that day in the woods when he had surprised me, I knew there was no going back after that. But I still needed to think about this. I couldn't forgive him for all the people he had lied to before, all the people he had deceived. I needed to think. I walked out of the garage to get some fresh air.

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**well that's it. i got a big tournament this weekend and due date for my current events project is approaching fast, so i'm for real this time saying I don't know when I can put up a new one. I'm working on it in my free time (COSCI class doesn't count as free time, but i'd rather eat my shoe than sit in that class, but writing is a better outlet) so i threw this together and i hope you guys like it. **


	13. Chapter 13

**finally got this out, bnt after tonight i got another hectic week that I should be doing some work for now, but i don't feel like it lol true words of a slacker. anyway i don't have games this weekend but i'm finally goin to be able to make a trip to the museum woohoo! so idk in a few days i might have something new but i should really be doing work since i blew that chemistry test today. i got the math (go figure for a math major) but i didn't study for the stuff i was suppose to memorize so dropping bomb sound effect, anyway enjoy please!  
****any comments and advise is highly appreciated and recommended!**

**Disclaimer: twilight, new moon, eclipse, characters and all that good stuff is not mine. (nothing witty. my witty is fried after today) **

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I inhaled deeply, and let the fresh cool air gill my lungs as I stepped outside and felt the crisp chill, mixed with the warmth of the sun's rays. I looked at my surroundings taking in the scenery of the woods and started walking farther and farther away from the glass house. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my head and there was Jacob, his eyes staring back into mine with so much intensity. I felt my heart give a stutter beat at the image and then snapped my eyes open. Now more than ever I didn't know what to do. I know that more than anything I wanted to stay here stay with Jacob, but I was still hesitant. How wise was it to run away with the resistance with the guy that was the leader from the beginning and who was 120, 125? How wise was it to choose the man that couldn't give me a house, a settle place, and throw away the guy that could? Well, some said love was never wise. Besides, wouldn't the foolish thing be to deny my heart? 

I walked on farther and farther away, deeper into the forest. I wanted to come out and think, make it all simple again. I came to a small stream cutting through the trees and sat down on a rock close by. I stared down at the water flowing by, distorting all the things left at the bottom. I tossed rocks in, listening to the _thunk_ they made as they sunk to the bottom to remain there, not moving along with the stream. I heard thunder roll a short distance away, and I looked up to notice the gray sky for once. I felt the first cool drops fall on my upturned face, and I closed my eyes to let the water drift down my face. I sat there and stared at the stream, not caring about the cold or the downpour that was now coming down on me. I didn't care.

"May I join you?" a velvety voice said beside me before situating himself on my rock.

I shrugged, and he sighed letting his sweet breath intoxicate my senses.

"You have everyone worried. We were all out here looking for you; the rain was washing your scent away." He explained to my careless ears. I kept on staring out into my small little stream.

"Jacob's really worried. He's a wreck right now." Edward said trying to invoke something from me. Was he worried I had become catatonic? I sighed to ease any worry he had of this. He smiled and went on

"What's on your mind?"

"Do you really have to ask?" I said blandly.

"Well, I don't know unless you're thinking it." He pointed out.

"I'm thinking about what a mess I've made of things." I said turning to look him in his golden eyes. "I just want everyone to be happy; no one gets hurt in the end." I sighed.

"Don't we all?" He chuckled and gave me a crooked smile that made me smile in return.

"I guess." I shrugged. We sat there in silence for a while staring off into the stream growing fiercer and bigger with the pouring rain. He turned to me and broke the silence,

"What do you really want, Joni?" He asked his golden eyes full of concern.

"I want to be with Jacob; he makes me happy like no one else, but I can't get pass what he did to those other kids. But the main thing is I don't know what to do about Demetrius. I love him I do, but…"

"It's just not the same." He said in understanding. And I nodded my head glad to have someone that finally got it.

"First though, I think you need to decide who you really are. Are you Joni or Charla?"

I thought about this and I didn't know which one I was. Was I Joni or Charla? What was the difference?

"Well, this Charla you've created is great, but she needs to learn to stay on the pages you write, you can't take her out of your writings and become her. You have to be happy with who you are." He explained to me.

"With Jacob I'm glad for once for being just Joni. I don't need to write and become Charla to feel special to feel like I have something to say. Joni is just right the way she is without becoming somebody else. I like that." I said finally realizing that that was something Demetrius had never done for me, I had always been Charla to him, and that world Demetrius and Charla were meant for each other, not Demetrius and Joni.

I sighed and turned to him," But what about those kids they tricked. How can I get passed that? Be with the kind of person who does that to people?"

Edward started laughing, and though his laughter made my stomach do flips, I felt irritated,

"What?!" I asked him, not hiding my agitation about not knowing the joke.

"Well, I can tell you one thing," he said with a coy smile over his perfect features. I sat there prompting him with my eyes to go on.

"Jacob never lied to someone like your Demetrius told you."

I sat there in astonishment for a moment. There had been papers, proof, and Demetrius wouldn't lie to me. Would he? "But, Demetrius-"I started to object, but Edward cut me off.

"Demetrius isn't capable of lying?" he asked with one eyebrow raised. I felt the realization hit. Maybe he had lied. I had lied to him, why not even the score? I had been sneaking around with a werewolf that I had pitifully tried to keep secret, and hadn't he lied about werewolves being extinct?

Edward smiled at me as I let the knowledge sink in," I don't know Demetrius, but I've known Jacob long enough, and have a few advantages to know if he had done anything like you think he did." He tapped the side of his temple for emphasis.

"So why, but Demetrius…" I couldn't form the question, as I tried to think of the reason why Demetrius would create such a lie.

"He was just scared of losing you," Edward pointed out, and I was glad he could see what was on my mind because I couldn't make any sense of it.

I nodded in agreement with him. But I was still surprised to see the detail that Demetrius had gone to make those reports official, but he did know a lot of people in printing and had many connections; he could have easily accomplished it.

"I remember some of those names on those reports and they were brought to the resistance once upon a time, some got left behind, fled, or captured. I don't know if they made up those stories or if Demetrius had them written up or altered it somehow. I do know that Jake, Leah, Ronny, and all of them haven't done anything like that. I can promise you that."

Guilt from doubting them, believing the worse hit me, and I could just stare back at the stream, feeling the wind pick up through my soaked clothes as I shivered.

"We should head back," Edward said standing up, expecting me to stand as well as I sat there a little bit longer. He stood there waiting for me to stand, before he sat back down, and I went on,

"Do you think it's a good idea to choose Jacob? I mean I know that I want to choose him, but being on the run, no sure security, always hiding: is that such a good idea?" I asked quietly.

"Well, you won't ever worry about his love for you or that he would gladly sacrifice himself for you, with the imprinting and all, and-"

"He mentioned that before. Imprinting; what is that?"

"Something really powerful that werewolves do to find their mate. It's similar to love at first sight only more absolute. He's perfect for you in almost everyway; almost made for you. I got to get a good look at this when the tribe stayed with us." Edward explained to me.

I thought about since the first day he had surprised me in the woods that instant click we had from the moment our eyes met. It was like my world had shifted from Demetrius to Jacob in that instant. I couldn't take my mind off of him since then, and anytime I was without him, it felt like I wasn't whole. I looked away and stared off into the woods, noticing the sunlight darting through the trees. Jacob's eyes, his looks, the sincerity in his voice, they all told me that he was telling the truth that he did really love me. He gave up most of his life to fight and keep the resistance alive. He lived for doing the right thing. How could I have doubted him?

"Does this imprinting go both ways?" I asked because I was starting to realize that my feelings were of those he had just described.

"Well, it mainly affects the wolf, but it's hard to deny that level of adoration they can give you. Which is why I was surprised when you came here how set on refusing him you were."

I laughed," I was so determined to hate him. I wanted to; I wanted to believe Demetrius, but in the end I gave in."

"Good. That's how it supposed to be." He confirmed me," And personally I rather live under the sea, well I would be fine anywhere as long as I was with Bella, than as a pledge to another vampire."

I nodded in agreement with him. I did like this new freedom I suddenly had.

"Now that you have sort of figured it out, we should head in; Jacob's going to kill me when he sees you and knows that I kept you out here talking."

"I won't let him kill you." I said.

He laughed," Like he could, but I don't want to hurt him in his effort."

"Edward." I started to say.

"Yeah?" though he already knew what I wanted to say to him, how grateful I was to have him talk to me, and help me sort through my thoughts, but there was just something so much more meaningful about saying it out loud.

"Thanks for the talk."

"Jacob helped me out a long time ago, it's the least I can do." He said shrugging his statue shoulders, before gracefully rising from the rock, while my frozen limbs creaked as I stood from sitting so long in the cold.

We walked back in silence, when the glass house started appearing in the through the fringe of the trees and we saw a very tall, looming figure vigorously pacing a little ways off. Edward pointed and started chuckling as the person in the distance started running his hands through his hair,

"See how worried you had him." From the sound of Edwards velvet voice, the figure's head snapped up, and started thrashing through the woods toward us quickly.

"I should ease his pain," I said smiling at Edward, who urged me forward with a cold hand on my back. I ran through the bushes toward Jacob, but he was already meeting me when I had only taken a few steps, He swept me up into a bone crushing hug, as he whispered under his breath,

"Thank God, you're okay. I'm so sorry. So sorry. Forgive me, please," and started apologizing for anything and everything. I reached up to my full height and pulled his head down to meet my lips, silencing whatever else he was apologizing for. He seemed confused, but happy as I pulled away.

I looked up into his face that I had grown to love with every part of my being, "I'm sorry; I believed a lie, when I should have known the truth all along."

He caressed my cheek, as he smiled down at me, love overflowing from his eyes into mine," Don't worry about it." He bent down and brought his lips to mine again, and could feel his joy becoming mine; I felt myself becoming whole again. As the kiss started deepening we heard someone clear their throat a little ways off,

"Don't mean to intrude, but do you want to take this inside, where it's dry. I mean she soaked, and can catch something." Edward said shuffling his feet and avoiding eye contact with us, so as not to seem as if he was staring.

Jacob pulled me into his arms and briskly made his way toward the house with Edward moving swiftly close by,

"Why did you have her out there for so long? Alice said you found her a while ago." Jacob interrogated him.

"I kept him out there, so if anyone needs to be scolded, it's me." I pointed out, not wanting Edward to be in trouble for our little talk.

"He should have brought you in."

I rolled my eyes at Edward, who smiled back at me; Jacob would get over it later. I held Jacob closer to me, letting his heat soothe my aching limbs. I closed my eyes and reveled that I was finally where I was meant to be.

* * *

**HELP! i'm lost, i don't know where to go and ideas would be appreciated. gah stupid writer's block, no it's a writing overload five current events, two history articles, and a persuasive essay. so this is what I got right now: benedict arnold confused about the nationalist and compact theory about our nation so he's praying in school which is illegal while travelling the Green Pipeline that kurdish rebels in the middle east use while disrupting oil production and werewolves.  
WTF?!?!****  
That made no sense so you see where my mind is right now. gah! need a break! thanksgiving can come anytime now... **


	14. Chapter 14

**Well, well look who's finally been given inspiration. I want to thank Thallarna and wingedspirit for their input and really it did give me some ideas but nothing wanted to come out though, and everything I wrote seemed forced and we all know that's not good, that's how you go from bad to worse. But anyway during my graphic arts class (I use to major in graphic arts till the cursed pen tool!) and she said we would be watching the history of print which would probably be the most boring movie we would ever see. She was wrong on both accounts the most boring movie I've ever seen was about the history of the periodic table but besides that this movie was quite interesting and during the movie like wham!!! (Literally wham cus I slammed my hand on the table people thought I had finally lost it) inspiration struck! It's perfect, well at least to me it was. So anyway here's what had hit me:**

* * *

We were riding in the hovercraft, going faster, thanks to Rosalie, than I have ever traveled before, which wasn't much to top. I looked over at Jacob as he smiled at me and brought my knuckles from the hand that was intertwined with his to lips. I smiled at him and went to stare out the window. We had just left the Cullen's to their and my disappointment, but Jacob needed to get supplies to people. But he had promised that we would return soon, and I cheered up after that. 

"So, where is the resistance, now?" I asked still gazing at the landscape rolling by underneath us.

"We moved a little more south into a small mountain range." He explained," But we're not going there just yet."

I looked over at him in surprised, "I thought we needed to get supplies to them."

"We do, but we need to get some supplies to the other groups, too."

"Other groups?" I asked unbelievably," So, there is more than just your tribe?"

"Yes, we're spread out just about everywhere, so that if one is found out then the whole resistance isn't destroyed."

"So is that where Leah and the others went?"

"Yeah, they were getting supplies elsewhere and delivering to other groups."

"How many groups are there?"

"I think around 5 or 6, and they're all about the same size, except ours is kind of smaller."

I felt my disbelief written all over my face as he turned to smile at me.

"The resistance never seems to surprise you." He chuckled.

"So, where are we going?" I asked looking around at the landscape that was starting to lose some trees, and grow more scarce as the green started thin and brown sand started to appear. I could make out in the distance the small outline of a city, and I thought we would just be out of city limits or swat cars would be swarming us right now.

"We're dropping things off to the people that take care of the safe house."

"Safe house? What do they keep safe?" I asked feeling my curiosity rise.

"Things that are restricted or banned from humans. I can't wait to let you see some of the stuff we got there." He said giving me a huge smile that made my heart race. A while later, we came to a abandoned city, with still some buildings intact and not yet reclaimed by surrounding forest just yet. I looked around to see which one would be a safe house, and frankly, I would say none. The houses were in pitiful state and were begging to be torn down, since they were already so close to it. I looked at Jacob as he started to unload some things from the trunk, and move toward one of the larger buildings.

"So this is the safe house? There's a paradox." I said below my breath as he turned to smile at me and led the way inside the building.

I gasped as we stepped into the building. It wasn't falling apart like the outside made you think, but it wasn't in the best condition either. The paint was peeling off where there was paint on the walls, a few holes, and a low ceiling. But it was bright inside and filled with books, paper, and other trinkets. I looked around to see stacks and stacks of books and papers strewn everywhere and boxes and boxes heaped on top of each other, reaching for the ceiling.

Jacob looked at my astonished face and beamed at me," You said you liked to read."

"Yeah, but this isn't any library I've ever seen." I said astonished by all the things here. I looked over and saw a thick book sitting on top of a podium like a small beacon to me, as I moved toward, drawn to it. I read the bold, golden text on the cover that read "Bible". I gasped and stepped away from it.

"You know that was the hardest book to find." I heard a deep, womanly voice in the corner and I looked up to see the speaker. She was tall and stocky, built like no woman I've ever seen. She had a stern nose and red frizzy hair that madly surrounded her head. She had her arms crossed over her wide chest as she surveyed me with her dark eyes through her small glasses. Jacob cleared his throat and her attention snapped to him and she instantly straightened up,

"Jacob, I'm glad to see you finally came; we wondering when we would get supplies again."

He scratched the back of his head and took on a look like a small kid getting in trouble," Yeah, we got a little held up."

Her gaze fell to me meaningfully as she said sternly," I can see that."

Jacob warm hand was on the small of my back as he pushed me forward a little like he was offering me to the lions," This is Joni. Joni this is Marlene; she's the overseer here."

I gave a weak smile under her hawk eyes and she inclined her head to me. An awkward silence fell, and the need to break it felt overwhelming," Umm, quite a collection of books you have." I pointed out. Her hard gaze continued.

"Umm, I would love a chance to read them someday." I said in a smaller voice; her mouth was still in a hard line.

"I see you have the edition of the Bible here. I thought that was only for scholars."

She snorted and I was glad to finally get another reaction out of her instead of her piercing gaze," Their so called 'scholars'. The only ones that can withstand the manipulative words of the Bible, right?"

I nodded my head. The Bible was prohibited to humans until they could show a certain intellect that would allow them to read it. They said that the Bible was too scheming, always trying to sway you into believing their God. Demetrius didn't even have the Bible in his library.

Marlene sneered at me," the Bible is a beautiful piece of art, the most referred piece of literature of all. It establishes the foundation of many of our old governments and laws; to some form we still follow some of the laws laid down by it countless of years ago. There's nothing manipulative about it; it's a foundation of faith and they have to take everything from us. It makes them uneasy to know that according to this book, they are an abomination." Her chest was heaving a little after her rant. I glanced at the book and saw the history around it. Many people had died over this book; printing it so ordinary people could read it, becoming martyrs for the things said in there that felt was truth.

"How can you defend a book who has called so much pain and suffering?"

Marlene threw up her hands and raised her eyes to the ceiling," Curse the vampires for taking away our beliefs." Her head snapped back up and her eyes narrowed on me," Read it. You will be amazed at all the love that book and God can give you. How much hope and inspiration that is drawn to this book; the stories in there will amaze you."

I picked it up and weighed it in my hands," I always wanted to read it, but Demetrius said that the book was out of print and impossible to get."

"Demetrius?" She eyed me questioningly.

"My liege." I said knowing that he had been more, but either way he was neither to me now.

"Not impossible for a vampire. I can assure, especially after that banishment. Copies have been confiscated all over the world. Pity, the last thing of hope and faith we had and they take it away."

I looked at her questioningly. There had been no news of banishment on the Bible, just a restriction.

She took in my expression and went on to explain," The banishment of books to every human."

Her eyes went wide when I held my blank stare of uncomprehension. She had to be mistaken,

"But Demetrius always let me read; he wanted me to. I just read a book the other day. I write books. My liege published a book for me."

"My dear, books have been prohibited to humans for almost a year, nearly two years now," Marlene looked at me astonished.

"But I never got anything on my feed," I said sounding suspicious. Demetrius had given me a lot of freedom, and probably would have given me more if I had let him.

"You said your liege encouraged your reading?" she pointed out and I nodded my head. He would have me read almost everything in his library and we would discuss it later on. He thought knowledge was a key tool.

"Well, he probably blocked that from your feed. They can do that, block off things they don't want their pledge to see or know about." She explained looking like that confirmed it all. He probably had done that and though he had done it for the better, I would have still liked to have known about it. I didn't want things kept from me anymore, no matter how much it hurt like the knowledge of what he had done was hurting right now. I wanted to know these things now; I didn't want to be kept in the corner and ignorant. Demetrius had done well in teaching me things of the past, but now I wanted to know what was going on in the present, and Jacob seemed to be doing a good job of helping with that.

I have drunk from the fountain of knowledge and have enjoyed its taste, no matter the consequences later. I had a thirst for it now that couldn't be quenched, and only wanted more and more. I wanted everyone to have this feeling too; I wanted them to know what vampires had been doing, what they still were doing. But how? How did we get the human race to finally get a back bone and stand up to the vampires? I wasn't saying take over, but just demand their equal rights. Even if we did accomplish that how would we be able to survive the vampires? How did you start a revolution?

I looked over at the stacks of books and saw different things sticking out of random piles. I walked over and started glancing at the small treasures that some people may never get to see; never experience what these could give you. I pulled up a small copy of the Albany Plan of Union cartoon, drawn by Benjamin Franklin, a small copy of Common Sense by Thomas Paine. I pushed these to the side, and looked over to the next pile to see a copy of Martin Luther's grievances that had been stuck to the church's door years ago and some of things printed by Sam Adams and Patrick Henry. I looked up to see other things from the French Revolution about the Queen and King, funny pictures with over proportioned features and such. Fahrenheit 451's title was at the top of another stack, small signs for the arrest of Galileo from years ago were plastered on one of the falling walls, pictures of Nazi's burning Jewish writings, a small passage of some of the stories from Mesoamerican Indians that survived the Spanish conquistadors' bon fires.

Realization struck me and I smiled at Marlene, who looked back at me with a suspicious look on her face,

"What are you smiling about? You just found out that you have been lied to." She asked cocking her head to the side in curiosity.

"Yes, I've been lied to and so has the entire human race for years." I pointed out, my smile growing bigger at her confusement and Jacob's for that matter as he tilted his head imitating Marlene and examining my face.

"This is a good thing?" Marlene asked in astonishment.

"No, but I have a way to solve it," I implied as both of their faces leaned in very eager. I sat there for a while, letting their anticipation grow, I laughed as I saw the frustration cross Jacob's features from my silence.

I looked at Marlene because I wanted them to figure this out too, and see the logic behind it," When would you say a civilization starts?"

"When they're born," Jacob said pointedly like it was obvious. Obviously wrong, but I reached up and gave him a peck before I shook my head at his answer.

"When they start publishing written work," Marlene said matter of factly.

"Exactly, and you destroy a civilization when you destroy their written work."

"Yes we know that, but vampires aren't destroying our work just keeping it from us," Marlene was starting to get more and more frustrated at my evasiveness.

"You're right; they're keeping us ignorant so that we are easier to handle. Knowledge causes too much conflict, too much opinions and confrontations and the need for more and more," I pointed out, and she nodded her head in agreement.

"So?" she asked hurrying me to get to the point.

"So, how did the American Revolution start, the idea of Evolution, the Reformation?"

Realization hit Marlene's face as she brightened up and beamed at me," My, that is a good idea. Jacob you did choose well, she knows her history."

"Granted this could take years to work, but I'm willing to start it, and help make it grow."

"Change takes time, but it will change. History repeats itself."  
"What is a good idea? What is changing?" Jacob asked feeling out of the loop, as Marlene ignored him,

"But how would we get it out there?"

"Yeah, we're going to have to figure that out, but I think a few of the human resistance might be able to blend in and sneak it." I said furrowing my brow as the ideas started coming in. This was going to take a lot of time and planning, and extreme caution.

"What are we getting out there?!" Jacob exclaimed impatiently.

"We're printing pamphlets Jacob, protest pamphlets." I explained; he made a face.

"And why are we doing this?"

"Because it's how you start to change people's minds, to get them to realize things. It's how the American's convinced colonists to rise against the British and others to get their views out there to change society, like Galileo and his theories, Charles Darwin and his, Christians and the Romans."

"So we're going to start telling people do go against the vampires?" he said thinking of the idea to himself. I nodded my head.

"Okay, say we did find a printer and were able to start this, and we did manage people to change their minds and go up against the vampires, do you really think the vampires are going to sit back and let us take over?" he eyed me skeptically.

"Not at all, but they can't destroy us, we're vital to them."

"How so?" Marlene asked, starting to pull books that had given me my inspiration and many others into her hands from their messy little stacks. She was already planning some of the pamphlets and I was glad to see that the hawk faced woman earlier was gone and replaced with this eager, helpful person. Her fervor was contagious as I felt my own excitement grow.

"With the exception of the Cullen's, vampires need our blood. If they destroy us then they are destroying themselves as well. So we have something to negotiate some equal rights to say the least," I smiled at the two as their faces mirrored mine.

"But what about threats and they kill many and keep a few to keep them sustained, and I hate to refer to you guys as food, but I'm just thinking like them" Jacob said, " And what about the werewolves? They wouldn't feed on us if we were the last thing on earth with blood."

"Which is why, we need these pamphlets to persuade everyone to stand as one. If one of us goes down then we're all going down, and don't worry I'm going to take care of this wolf situation."

He smiled down at me and pulled me into his arms before burying his face in my hair," I'm so glad I found you."

"Me, too." I reached up to receive a kiss, when a voice interrupted us with a small cough.

"Guys, I hate to interrupt, but I really need your opinion," Marlene said from behind a particularly large stack of books," what should we start with? What should be our first edition?"

I thought about it and racked my brain for something that was going to catch attention, a real big up setter. I felt the light bulb go off into my head, and I reached into Jacob's pocket as he looked down at me in curiosity. I pulled out my old journal, and tossed over the stacks to Marlene.

"Here, I got the perfect thing," I yelled over to her.

She flipped through a few of the pages, reading lines from here and there, before she looked up and smiled," Perfect. Now we need to get a printer."

"We'll get that." Jacob said, pulling out a small device to contact someone.

"You do realize that we are no longer the Resistance but the Revolution, now?" Marlene pointed out, smiling and running around the book piles, able to navigate her ways easily. I looked over at Jacob who had the device to his ear now. I smiled at him and said,

"Vive La Revolution."

"Vive La Revolution." He repeated back, mirroring my smile with one of his dazzling ones.

"That's perfect for our banners." Marlene said, now excited and throwing her hands up and letting the papers in her hands fly out and flutter around her," Vive la Revolution!" she shouted. I lauhed with her as her mood was becoming contagious.

"You know, I've never seen her like this," Jacob commented now hanging up the talking device.

I shrugged," I bring out the best in people." I commented and smiled as I realized that our plan was underway and laughed as Marlene started marching around singing old war ballots. Soon, the world would know about the vampires and we would stand up as one and reestablish ourselves as the true creatures of this earth. The time of vampires was over; humans were going to shine again.

**

* * *

You say you want a revolution  
well you know  
we all want to change the world  
ha ha love the beatles. first song that came to mind when I was writing this, along with pink floyd, we don't need no education, but I was like wait we do need education that's what this is about but you get the idea. anyway i hope you like what this might be leading to if you don't then just say and ill try to find something else, but i like this idea so anyway enjoy i wrote this up in the fastest time ever i swear in between my classes i was running to the library to my little corner and writing. my friends thought i had a big test or something. no it was just the call of my muse, but they don't know that... let's just go with the studying**

sorry if i didn't get the vive revolution thing right i read it from somewhere and i couldn't remember it exactly.


	15. Chapter 15

**Well the biker rally has come to Galveston and guess who has to baby sit, me. 'UGH!!' well it's a good time for me to catch up on some things, like writing for example. Well I did get organic chocolate, so all is not bad (organic 'bleh' but need to find something to make me to stop getting sick) don't ask i'm already taking enzymes like 15 times a day anywhoo here's a short update**

* * *

We made it back to the tribe the next day after leaving Marlene, who was still singing revolutionary songs and ballads as we were lifting off. When we landed the tribe came out to greet me, and I immediately ran to Leah. Before I could say anything she wrapped her warm arms around me and whispered in my ear, 

"Don't worry about it."

I looked up to smile at her, glad that she didn't hold a grudge from what I had said earlier. Jacob had explained that Martin was Leah's imprint; she just had a subtle way of showing it.

I nestled myself next to Jacob in his large tent, a perk for being with the alpha. There had been a huge celebration that night that outshined the bonfire I had previously attended. I had laughed and gorged myself, and danced till I thought my feet were no more. I had never had such fun in one night. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, when something cold and sinister disturbed me in my warm safe harbor next to Jacob.

I felt him there. I could feel a cool breath on the back of my neck whispering my name, his icy touch gliding along my back. I could feel his eyes in the dark watching me lying next to Jacob. Despite all this, I felt myself drift off to sleep and dream a little dream of the past.

Behind my eye lids I could see his smile, his perfect features up in a grin, brightening his entire face, even in the dark. It had been one of the first nights that he had stayed with me in my room, the first time we had acknowledged our feelings for each other. He laid on the other side of my bed his fingers tracing the outline of my face, playing with me hair, his sweet breath blowing into my face intoxicating my senses.

"Are you happy here?" he asked me sincerely, his eyes surveying my face.

"Yes, happier than I've ever been." I told him, which was the truth at the time.

"Good because that's all I want, your happiness. I never thought I would find someone like you; someone more like me than myself."

"Is that Wuthering Heights?" I asked recognizing Catherine's words about Heathcliff.

He chuckled," You caught me. I'm glad to see you've been reading."

"Thanks to you. I would have never been given this chance from anyone else."

"I just want to give you all I can." He said growing serious.

I smiled at him and he leaned forward to place his cold rock lips against mine. His sweet taste filling all of me. He pulled away and then the scene faded, his loving gaze was no longer on me. There I was standing in a dark dim room with a figure sitting in a chair by the open window, only the moonlight and the dying embers casting shadows. A breeze was blowing in whipping the curtains around the chair and the lonely person. I heard a low melancholy voice that would bring tears to the hardest soul,

_"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil- prophet still, if bird or devil! _

I stepped closer and recognized the form sitting in the chair, and I felt a pain in my heart to see my old friend in such a lowly state,

_By that heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore- _

_Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn, _

My eyes filled with tears that were streaking down my face as I moved forward and saw the book in his hands, his brow furrowed, and sadness in his eyes that reflected the pain in his voice. I was responsible for it all,

_It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore- _

_Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore? _

I was standing in front of his chair now, the moonlight highlighting the both of us in the moonlight. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than ever, his eyes from where I was standing were pitch black, and his hair even seemed less glossy and rich than usual. I wanted to reach out to him, tell him to forget me; I didn't deserve him, we were meant for other people,

_Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."_

"Demetrius," I whispered, looking down with pity in my eyes.

His head snapped up and he stood up fluidly in one movement setting aside his book. He reached out to me, my name on his lips, as his eyes held more sorrow than I have ever seen.

Then his eyes took on a fierce look as his hand clamped around my neck under my jaw. I felt my air supply cut off immediately and a gurgle sound escaped me as a muscle in his jaw went tense. He raised me up with one arm, my feet dangling in mid-air as I uselessly struggled to free myself, pleading with my eyes. He kept that hard, murderous look in his eye, as I felt myself slipping and his grip tighten,

"Nevermore Charla, nevermore…" he said between clenched teeth," We'll be together soon, my darling." And then he released his grip, and I felt myself jerk awake.

I sat up straight breathing heavily, my neck and my jaw screaming in pain. I gingerly touched the place in my dreams he had held me and felt the tenderness of a bruise there. Impossible, it had just been a dream. I shook myself awake, hurting my neck and jaw when I did as I started feeling my surroundings more and more. I was greeted by Jacob's easy breathing next to me and I smelt the sweet, piney smells of the outdoors, felt the coolness of the night surrounding me, and Jacob's heat filling the tent. I pulled my knees to my chest and closed my eyes trying to settle my heart rate. A big warm hand was on my shoulder, and soothing my back, I looked down and saw sleep still in his big brown eyes as he said groggily,

"You okay?"

I smiled down at him and nodded my head as I lay back down and snuggled into his side. His arm wrapped around me, his heat swallowing me up as he pulled me closer and he fell back asleep. I laid in his arms still feeling too scared to settle back into my previous dream.

I could still here his chilling voice, a cold breath on my cheek,

"Soon, Charla…"

I shut my eyes tight and moved closer to Jacob, trying to shut out his voice and the cold feeling that was rising in my chest. His voice still beckoning in the dark night,

"Charla…"

**

* * *

Woo! That darn Demetrius, but I would love to get a crack at his library. I don't know if I have to give credit to it but I will, you might have recognized Demetrius' reading from Edgar Allen Poe's _The Raven_. Just thought I mention that if I'm supposed to give credit or something, though I doubt Poe would sue me, I would be extremely creeped out and probably drop dead from the shock of it.**

**anyway sorry the update's so short i was going to wait to write till my trip to musuem (finally going tomorrow!) but i'm kinda bored and avoiding homework so yeah this is what i came up with **


	16. Chapter 16

**Alright, so sorry about the delay, and if this chapter sucks and is pretty short. i gotta get back in the groove while also dealing with a lost of crap... yes crap i lost another friend while dealing with my other friends anniversary a few days afterwards, almost lost my uncle, finals, and oh yeah, my boyfriends gay, but still wants to be with me and work things out??? and my parents said no to my industrial piercing 'tear' ' (  
so to forget all that i decided to pick this back up or just drop it and start a new one i cant decide lol but tell me what you think about this chapter and whether i should just do it all over, cus its not my proudest, but watever.**

**Disclaimer: Remember all twilight characters aren't mine.**

* * *

The dream never came back, though I went to sleep wary every night. I couldn't shake the cold, clammy feeling gnawing on my insides. I could almost feel his stare in the dark, sometimes hear his low menacing laughter when I was alone with Jacob; I couldn't shake him wherever I went. No matter the warmth of Jacob, I could feel his cold chill come over me. 

I sat in the old lounge chair with the stuffing coming out as I sat and stared off into space, pondering how Demetrius was still able to haunt me. I heard a small groan and a loud crack come from the back room, and Marlene's yell. I smiled from relief of escaping her wrath. We had come here to work on the printing machine, getting the final pieces and hoping that it would work. Marlene was upset about it taking too long, but it had only been a few weeks, but she had a reason to be so impatient.

"Get that old piece of junk working when I get back here!" the door opened letting her voice and the tinker of tools against metal working as she stepped out. Jacob's head popped out and he smiled at me about to say something, when he was shoved forcefully back in by Marlene,

"None of that till you're finished."

I laughed, "Cracking the whip."

She turned around and smiled at me while she situated herself on the other chair next to mine, "I just want to get this started as soon as possible. Who knows how long it might take to work or if it'll even work." She sighed and looked exhausted.

"It'll work." I reassured her and patted her hand; she smiled at me and looked down at the book laid across the arm of my chair.

"How are you enjoying that?" She said indicating the Bible I was reading.

"Very much. Thanks for letting me read it."  
"No problem, I enjoy having another bibliophile to enjoy my collection with" She stood up and strode to the small kitchen in the corner of the room. We were in her small corner of the building that was meant for her comfort while her library and things lay in the other room. The boys were in the back room trying to get the printing machine working, but I could still here their groans and hard fruitless labor coming through the thin walls. But beyond their ruckus, I could hear the small twitters of birds and other things in the surrounding forests. I looked at Marlene and wondered why she chose to live here, why she wanted to spend her life along with these books. I had pondered this before, but I never asked Marlene before, she seemed to always want to keep her life private, forget what had happened to her before.

"Marlene, can I ask you something?" I said hesitantly staring at her back fixing herself a cup of tea.

"Depends on the question." She stated stirring in her sugar, before coming to sit back down.

"How did you come to join the Resistance? What happened to you before?" I tapped my fingers anxiously on my arm chair hoping she wouldn't be upset by my question.

She looked up from her sipping and her eyes took on a dreamy look as she stared off.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I said quickly after she didn't start speaking after a while.

"No, no it's fine. I'm just figuring out the best way to tell you." She set down her cup and heaved a great sigh.

"Well, I was from a similar situation as you." She informed me as she looked me in the eye.

"I was a young girl in one of those horrid homes, like almost everyone else, and when I came of age I was shipped off to vampire to pledge myself to her. But I had never wanted to pledge myself; I had always wanted a life of my own, a normal one. I wanted a family, a husband, watch them grow and eventually move on. Some saw this as unusual, some thought that I wasn't all the way up there because who didn't want to be beautiful, strong, and immortal, practically a god." She picked up her cup and took a sip from it. She cupped her mug in her hand and circled the edge of the rim as she stared into the bottom and went on,

"I do not want to live forever; having battled the Gods and lived to speak of it, it will take much less than that to take my breath...a chill breeze as that the blows the leaves in fall. Without the knowledge that it could be taken away in the next instant, how would life be worth living? How could immortality ever come close to that joy?"

"Odysseus." I said recognizing her words from the character by Homer.

She nodded her head and smiled at me, "I'm so glad Jacob brought you. You know so much of literature."

She cleared her throat and went on, "There was another pledge there when I arrived. He was a little older than me and had been at the house for a while. He never liked the whole vampires ruling thing either. He was always so rebellious, always smarting off to our liege and other vampires and starting trouble, but they kept them around because he showed great promise and intellect. He was so smart." She laughed and smiled at the memory, and then she sighed," We had planned to run away together, you know in the middle of the night and just take off to somewhere, anywhere as long as we were together, and away from them."

She closed her eyes and breathed in a little and went on," But before we could leave our liege decided he had enough of his behavior and sent him away to a new born camp. I tried to follow that night he left, but I couldn't keep up, and I could never find the camp they sent him to. I never returned to my liege or the city after I left."

"You tried to find a newborn camp?" I asked astonished.

She nodded her head and I looked at her with newly found respect for her bravery. Newborns were the most dangerous type of vampires who felt extreme thirst for the first year or so of the transformation. To try and keep them under control, the vampires grouped them together into one of their secluded camps and if you were able to make it through it then you could come out into society, on probation of course. There were a few of these camps with more vampires to Newborns ratio so that they would be easier to control since they were so strong. Only humans that were too much trouble or had reached an age considered too old to be changed were sent to Newborn camps as food; none would make it back.

I remember our home supervisors would always threaten to send us there if we couldn't behave ourselves. According to some of our lessons you didn't even want to be near a newborn camp for fear that our blood would drive their thirst to break through the walls to come and feed off us.

I looked over at Marlene and noticed tears streaming down her face. She gave me a small quirk of a smile with the side of her mouth, "I see myself in you so much. Just make sure you take care of Jacob." I shook my head without a word, and she took my hand as we sat there in silence as I realized that we were more connected than we thought. We heard a clank and then the growl of an engine and the smoothly whirl of a machine accompanied with shouts of joy. The door flew open as Jacob stuck his head out, his white teeth flashing against his russet skin with a huge smile, "It's ready."


	17. Chapter 17

**Alright i got another chapter up cus i couldn't find a ride to laser tag and my parents wouldn't let me drive there (the usual concept of a car and a drivers license is to combine the two and be able to transport YOURSELF there) but watever. no school, all friends out, no softball, equal a lot of times on my hands now so here we go... **

**Disclaimer: you know, nothings changed, i have no power or claim over these characters owned by stephanie meyers**

* * *

I held the pamphlets in my hands as I looked over at Martin and the small band of people we had. I looked down at our new attire we had required from a small laundry place we had come across so we could blend in. We had scrubbed ourselves almost raw to rid ourselves from the wolves' sent and hadn't seen them for a few days. All of this for precaution, in case we ran into a vampire. Though I doubted there would be one wandering the area designated for young fledging humans. We had traveled to the city alone and I was antsy from not having seen Jacob for these few days, an ache in my chest. 

I felt my heart beating in my chest as I looked around the abandoned streets that had cracks and crevices running along the road and sidewalks. The highway system and roads were neglected now with the invention of the hover craft.

I peeked around the corner to the streets still emptied of any life; people were still not out of their schoolings and confinement yet. I remember that we would start the day off with breakfast, some exercise, and then we were to stay inside for classes and lessons and then let outside to socialize and play until the sun had almost set and then came back in for dinner, leisure time and sleep. The plan was to come during their frolic time outside because that's when all the houses in the area mingle and we would be less noticed with so many people around. I held my breath and waited for them to be let out and then start slipping pamphlets into their bags, pockets, even into their rooms if we could get into the buildings through a window or door.

I heard the low hum of voices starting to rise from within the buildings and start to rise as people were eager to be let out of their cages, soon the streets would be over flooded with bodies.

"You ready?" Martin grinned hugely; I could feel his excitement thrumming through the air that only made the lump in my throat grow bigger. I shook my head and swallowed down my fear for a second so I could speak.

"No." I barely choked out as the tension in the air started growing with every second it came closer to releasing the much impatient humans from their daily prison into fresh air.

Martin laughed at me and shook his head as he gave me a light shove that I suppose was a way to encourage me. "It was your idea though."

"See, that's the thing about ideas, they don't always work out, especially mine." I looked at him helplessly hoping that he would see my view point and call everyone in so we could go home and we could try another day. No such luck.

"How do we know if we don't try it out? Get ready, they're coming," He signaled to people across the street and touched a few buttons on his device before he stuffed it away. I could hear their footsteps starting to get more demanding and furious as seconds ticked away before the doors open to end their confinement for the day and give them their small amount of freedom. Oh, cage birds do love to sing, I thought to myself as their footsteps were becoming a humming sound in the background as I tried to focus. I wasn't one for big crowds, especially now.

I felt butterflies rampaging inside of me as I heard people opening and closing doors, probably throwing on shoes and clothes. I heard the supervisors and attendants yell at their charges. Their excitement and frenzy were reaching the peak as they all were all revved up to get a taste of some freedom from their stone confinements.

Then the tension snapped through the air as the doors flew open and kids, teenagers, and a few adults all stampeded out into the streets filling the air with laughter and shouts at their from different houses.

Martin looked at me and nodded as he stepped out into the throng of people and was swallowed by the sea. I took a deep breath and plunged into a group of laughing girls sending flirty looks to the boys across the street. I noticed one of them had a purse and I quickly shoved one in there as I passed her hoping she wouldn't notice until later today. I weaved through and put another into a boy with large pockets, and another into a small girl who wasn't paying attention to anything. I chose random people, anyone and everyone that looked like they wouldn't notice paper being slipped into their hands.

I lost track of how many people I had given the brochure to, but my supply was running low as I looked to my own pleasure. I was almost done when I felt a cold and clammy feeling creep up the back of my neck. I instantly froze as I felt my name being whispered even with the buzz of the noisy crowd.

I looked around in horror, but could find nothing.

"Charla…" There it was again. I spun around frantically and saw Martin discretely shutting the door of one of the buildings behind him. He couldn't have been the one he was too far away. He noticed my stare at him and a look of concern crossed his face as he made his way to me. A flash of dark hair in the corner of my eye caught my attention, and I quickly looked in that direction, but could only find to my relief a black haired boys.

"Charla..." I felt cold breath against the skin on my back to my dismay as I started breaking out in a cold sweat, and slowly turned around.

"Joni! What's wrong?" I heard Martin yell at me and his big hand grabbed my shoulder roughly and turned me around to face him. I shook myself and let out the breath I was holding in. He took me by both of my shoulders and bent down to look me in the face, his eyes full of concern.

"I thought, I thought that someone was here." I stuttered out and looked around frantically to confirm that it was just an illusion. I breathed in deeply and relaxed a little seeing no one that looked like Demetrius. I exhaled and tried to smile, "I'm fine now. It was nothing."

Martin looked at me unconvinced, "You need to get out of here." He signaled to the others against my protest.

"There's no need for that. I don't want to ruin everything. We need to finish." I persisted.

"No we were almost done anyway and we need to get out of here so as not to call too much attention. They'll start wondering who we are." He said as he started moving through the crowd toward our exit while tugging me along. I looked back cautiously to make sure my suspicions were incorrect because I could still feel this uneasiness around me.

"Joni!" Martin yelled at me snapping me back into reality. I looked up at him and he stared at me before he went on, "What is it with you? I keep on having to yell at you? What's got you so distracted?"

"It's nothing." I whispered avoiding his observant eyes.

He stared at me for awhile building the uncomfortable silence until the others joined us. Their shouts of success and joy were all around us as we started making our way out of the city. I glanced up and caught Martin's still scrutinizing gaze still upon me and I quickly looked away. I chanced one last look behind me before we left this city behind. I felt everyone else brush by me as I scanned the masses of heads moving this way and that, their voices still thrumming with excitement from today's excitement, maybe even some of the city kids were already talking about their discoveries in their pockets. I was about to turn around when I thought I had caught a glimpse of a tall, imposing figure with pale skin and shocking black hair. I felt my breath catch and looked again to see nothing there.

I turned around to see Martin watching me again and look in the direction I had been staring off at.

"Satisfied?" I asked. He looked at me puzzled as I went on, "I told you it was nothing."

He looked away guilty and nodded his head, still unconvinced. I walked on to join the rest of the group, but could still feel those dark scarlet eyes penetrating into my back, but I refused to acknowledge them anymore, this was all an illusion.

We climbed into the hovers and took off to go back home. Back to Jacob, I thought to try and comfort myself, as I tried to shake the cold feeling I had creeping into my stomach. I closed my eyes, but all I could see was pale skin, dark hair, and red eyes boring into mine.


	18. Chapter 18

**Late night, cup of coffee, plus multiple wrapping of presents insanity. (yes gift wrapping this late in the game. see teacher procrastination runs in my family I can't avoid it. It's in my genes) Plus while I was wrapping guitar hero III for my niece and nephew and I just burst out in the chorus of making love out of nothing at all .I don't know maybe it was the gift wrapping, maybe it was the lost of blood I had from paper cuts and the tape (gift wrapping is a dangerous business) or the lovely musical styling's of Moulin Rouge which I'm watching at the moment but that song is now permanently stuck in my head. (smacks head repeatedly. "Get out!") but anyway I'm kind of in a writer's slump (not block, slump) and I guess from Air Supply and the coffee talking, I have this vision (cus I don't know wat to really write anymore) of all the characters just joining hands and running off into the sunset together while Making Love Out of Nothing At All plays in the background or Come What May whichever one of your choosing. That would solve my lil writing slump, just end it all like that, but I won't do that. So as a Christmas gift and to make sure I don't "jump the shark" here's my next chapter. (hums to self "I know how to whisper and I know just how to cry" bangs head "GET OUT!!") **

**To Santa: All I want for Christmas is Jacob with a bow on top, and the ownership of twilight.  
****Mkay thx,  
****Rosie**

**To Rosie: Sorry no can do.  
****-Santa  
****P.S. Nice try **

* * *

I leaned into the window of the hover craft as we soared through the air back to the camp site. My breath fogged up the window as I absently drew designs and tried to relax from what had just taken place. Demetrius wasn't following me; there was no way he could know where I was. I sat back and closed my eyes hoping to forget about everything and focus on returning home. Home. We were getting closer, closer to camp, closer to friends, closer to Jacob. I breathed deeply and fell asleep. 

I found myself walking through the forest. Things seemed familiar, but strange. It was like I knew this place, the memory pulling at strings in my mind, but then I couldn't place where I was, and I just kept walking forward through the trees not really knowing where I was going.

Soon a russet wolf accompanied me, silently appearing at my side as my guardian during my trek to my unknown destination. We walked on in silence for a while, nothing making a sound.

Then he turned and his hair stood on end as his whole frame tensed and a low menacing growl escaped through his gritted teeth. I looked all around to see what might be the source of his troubles, but before I could get a good surveillance, he took off into the forest running at top speed. I ran my hardest after him, but he seemed to get farther and farther away, gaining speed as I seemed to lose it.

I watched him fade off as I called out to him, trying to make him slow down, stop, something to keep him from leaving me. But he was gone, fading off into the trees as the loneliness started creep up on me and a sense of abandonment came over me and I slowed to a stop. I was still in the woods, everything unusually silent, even my footsteps were cushioned by the silence as I slowed to a walk and continued forward. Tears rolled down my face from the panic that started to hit when I realized that he was gone and I was alone.

I walked on to what seemed an eternity, searching but finding nothing. When I felt my hope slipping away and my desolation about to spill over, something started to appear in the distance. The form of a huge man started to take shape, a shape I had grown to love so well as recognized him as I came closer and closer to him. I called out to him, and tried to speed up to catch up to him, but he always seemed to be a few steps quicker than mine. He walked on while I was running to reach him, my hurried footsteps taking me nowhere.

Suddenly, a huge fortress with walls that seemed to stretch up to the heavens and beyond loomed ahead of us as Jacob kept walking towards it, his intentions seeming to enter that foreboding place. Dread filled me as I my intuition told me that if he went in, he wouldn't come out. I shouted out to him, but it came out as a whisper, I willed myself to shout louder, but everything came out softly the silence of this place muffling my cries. But somehow he heard it and turned around slowly. I tried to run to him, but the distance between us seemed to stretch as he became farther and farther out of reach. The fortress doors swung open inward and a blinding bright light flooded out silhouetting Jacob and almost blacking him out except for his face. He gave me a small, sad smile and mouthed "I love you," before he turned away, and walked into that light.

I ran with all my might as his form started disappearing and those huge doors swung closed. I cried out his name one last time before the doors closed with a finality that I had lost him. The doors sealed shut taking all the light with them and I was left in utter darkness, before I was jolted awake.

I woke up to find Martin's concerned face looming over me. I took in my surroundings and realized that we had landed and were beginning to unload. He bent down to eye level to examine me before he asked,

"Are you okay?"

I didn't answer and sat back and tried to get my breathing under control. I realized that my cheeks were wet and I made an effort to wipe the tears off my face. I rubbed my eyes to try and bring myself fully awake and slow down my heart rate. He sat down next to me and continued,

"I didn't mean to wake you, but you were crying and started saying Jacob's name over and over again."

"I had a nightmare."

"No kidding," He laughed, "You want to tell me what it was about? Was it the same thing that what happened today?"

I shook my head, "You know I hardly remember it." I lied not really wanting to discuss what I had just dreamed about with him.

He rubbed his hands together and stood up awkwardly making the discomfort between us grow as I started to stand up out of my seat, "Okay. You know I'm only trying to help. I don't mean to pry or anything."

"I know." I said curtly and pushed pass him to walk out. Maybe just having Jacob's presence absent for the past few days was just messing with my head, making me irritable, giving me hallucinations and nightmares. That would all be fixed though as I excitedly thought of seeing him again soon.

* * *

We entered the camp and found everyone out of the tents waiting for us as a Welcome Home party. I immediately found his face in the crowd and pushed through to reach him, as time seemed to stop till I reached him. I prayed, "Please be real. Please don't make my dream come true." But all my worries disappeared when he swept me up into his huge warm embrace and we were once again reunited.

I hadn't realized how cold I was until his arms wrapped around me and his mouth came crushing down onto mine. I never wanted to be apart from him again. We separated from each other and everything else around us came flooding back as we realized we were surrounded by people laughing and gawking at us.

Jacob brought his forehead down to mine staring into my eyes, his teeth contrasting against his tan skin as his smile stretched across his face," Miss me?"

I shook my head, "Of course not. It was a nice vacation away from you."

"Liar." He laughed and pick up his head and held me tighter to his chest as he pulled me away from the crowd, away from the camp into the cover of the forest.

"You would know." I said truthfully; he knew me so well which is what I had missed so much, someone that just got me, "Where are we going?" I asked as the voices and rejoicing started to fade away into the forest.

"You'll see." He teased while flashing me a brilliant smile that made my heart do a flip as my excitement started to rise. I caught a scent of salt and the sound of crashing water against rocks.

"Jacob…" I started to question but he cut me off, "Just wait."

We came out into the open and my eyes grew in wonderment. It was the ocean, a beach. My breath caught as I took sight of this magnificent sight. I had never seen so much water, all of it stretching out into the horizon, onto forever.

"Wow" I breathed, "It's amazing."

"I knew you would like it. I noticed that a lot of city kids have never seen the ocean, and I know it's a sight to see." I nodded my head in agreement. He laughed and grabbed my hand and started to tug me along behind him as he took off to the shore line.

I felt the sand under my bare feet, and felt the cold stab of water as hit me when we came to the shore line.

"It's freezing." I complained jumping back from it.

"Of course." He laughed and pulled me closer to him, the water instantly warmer where he was.

He suddenly became serious and his eyes became intense as he stared into mine, "You know I'll never let him hurt you. He'll never touch you again as long as I'm living. I'll never allow it." He reached down and smoothed a strand of my hair back behind my ear, his hand grazing across my cheek and leaving a trail of heat from his touch. He always knew when something was wrong with me.

I nodded my head, "I know."

"Then you have nothing to worry about anymore." He smiled at me, and I reached up on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck to bring his face closer to mine.

"I love you." I whispered.

He smiled and brought his mouth closer to mine, whispering against my lips, his hot breath entering my mouth, "I love you, too." Our lips met as the water came lapping in around our ankles.

**

* * *

You know that beach scene actually happened to me once. I mean you know the kissing while standing in the tide coming in, and it's quite romantic till I had to ruin it by splashing water all over the guy (chuckles), but that's the type of girl I am lol. So anyway, just thought I'd leave in some few words since I am extremely bored… "Come What May, I will love you until my dying day…" damn it, now that song too. WTH? **


	19. Chapter 19

**I know its been awhile but this is a real quickie and the only thing that would come out of my head so this is sorta just moving the story around soooo this is the best I got at the moment... sorry**

* * *

"But why do you have to leave?" I whined.

His face gave a pained expression at my distress, "We need to go pick up those city kids that want to join the resistance. Do you know how hard it was for us to set this up?"

"Well, you're chief why can't you send someone else in your place?" I was acting selfish and I knew it, but I didn't want to be separated from him and I didn't want him anywhere near the city.

He gave an exasperated sigh and looked up at the ceiling of the tent as if the help was up there. His eyes snapped to mine asking me to understand. I knew if I really asked him to stay he would.

"That's the exact reason I should go. I should lead the pack." He put on a charming smile, "And besides, this was all your idea."

"Well, chief, didn't any one tell you not to follow everyone else's ideas. You're supposed to lead."

"Good thinking, I'm going to follow that concept and lead the pack." His big smile broke out across his face and I felt my resolve melt away.

I gave up; I didn't want to be the reason to take him away from his pack. It wouldn't be fair. I walked over to him and threw my arms around his neck, "You promise to be careful there."

"Of course, I am the model of carefulness." He laughed.

I rolled my eyes, and he bent down to kiss me and we left the tent for him to join his pack.

* * *

I watched the wolves leave, the russet one hanging back for a moment and then disappearing to join the others. I let out a heavy sigh and told myself that this had been my idea. For once, something was working out for me; I should be glad that it was all going so well. 

I felt a big warm, hand on my shoulder and give me a small, comforting squeeze it was almost the same as the touch I yearned for but not quite, "Don't worry. They'll be back before you know it." I looked up to see Talan, one of the wolves that stayed behind to watch the camp.

I sighed, "That's still not soon enough." I couldn't place it, but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was going to happen.

I tried to shake it off and made my way to mine and Jacob's tent that I was going to share alone for a few days. When I walked in I saw placed on our sleeping palette was a small, new journal with a note on top.

I picked up the note and read the message scribbled in beautiful script:

_Hope you've been writing while I've been gone. _

I felt my brow furrow in small confusion. I guess I wasn't supposed to find the journal until a few days after Jacob had left. I picked up the journal and left the tent to find a small place to write some things.

Strange, but I hadn't written in a long time, hadn't even thought about it really. I had written a few thing for the pamphlets, but that was really finding others writings and previous ones of mine. I hadn't even felt the urge to do it.

Maybe because Ray Bradbury had once said that writing was discovering one self, seeing what your self would say. I guess finding Jacob was all the self discovery I needed because being with him was like being complete. But still I wanted to keep a memory of all that had happened.

So I found a small spot, underneath a large tree with just enough shade, just enough sun, and began writing again.

* * *

The rain snuck up on me and I didn't realize it until a large fat drop splatted onto my page. I wiped it off and looked up to see the dark angry sky threatening to unleash its contents in seconds. The wind picked up and debris flew into my face. I picked up my things as quickly as possible when I heard a small chuckle behind me. I spun around but no one was there. 

"Hello?" I shouted above the wind hoping it someone from the tribe trying to surprise me and not something else.

I paused a few seconds and when I didn't get an answer I picked up my things faster and took off in the direction of home. I saw something dart by me and I stopped and looked closer to see what it could have been. Nothing.

I walked faster keeping my eyes straight on. I could almost see the clearing ahead, hear the voices of people, and almost smell the dinner beginning to be cooked. I smiled and relief to be almost home and I picked up my pace eager to get to the safety.

Then something appeared in my path, and I and my heart stopped dead at the sight of the creature in front of me. He stood tall and powerful like he always had, his beauty frighteningly unreal, but not as frightening as his expression in his eyes. I dropped everything and turned around and ran for my life, away from my worst nightmare.

I ran my hardest, though I knew that any attempt was useless; I was caught, and I would have to face him. And just as this thought crossed my mind, I felt a jerk on my arm that nearly took it out of its sock it. My whole body was jolted back and my breath was stolen out of my longs.

A cold, sweet breath tickled my ear and sent chills down my spine. "Gotcha," it whispered, and then everything went black.

* * *

_Red circles surrounding black holes, a dark room, a soothing but deadly voice in my ear, a handsome face that means to kill. _

_Brown, warm eyes full of love, a quick flash of white against russet, the husky, woodsy smell, freedom and mystery of the woods. A promise, a risk. _

_A small girl taunted by others, "Why don't you go write in your little book?" A feeling of not belonging, "You are alone. You don't belong." Old, stern faces, always denying, always lying. The faces tells us what they can, they mean to make us behave, make us believe in their lies. _

_Hauntingly, beautiful, almost painfully, faces, forever young, forever lovely. Their twinkling laughs float through the air at my ungraceful, ugly being. Never good enough, never could I compare, never would I matter. _

I felt disorientated as I started to come around, but couldn't distinguish my dreams and nightmares from reality. Images flitted before my eyes as I tried to clear my aching head and get feeling to my unresponsive body.

I could feel his cold hard eyes on me and I knew this time, it wasn't an illusion, it was real.

"Hello Charla," Demetrius whispered, his voice sending chills down my body.


End file.
